Wednesday, January 10, 2007

You Asked For It... You Got It!

As per your requests, here’s another chapter in The Daddy & His Helper…

After I fed the baby and put him down for his morning nap I slipped in a quick shower. As most of you can relate to, one must take advantage of these “breaks in the action.”

As a man with a #3 buzz cut, my showers don’t last very long and I always keep the door open to listen for breaking glass or the smell of smoke.

As he usually does, the Helper came to visit me during my morning ritual.

He updates me on his last 3 minutes of activity:

“Daddy, I need my crayons and paper, please!”

“One minute buddy, Daddy will be right out.”


[He disappears and returns a couple minutes later.]

“Daddy, I’m sitting at the kitchen table fixing your WATCH!”


“I’m fixing your WATCH, it’s broken.”

“Okay, honey let Daddy finish, I’ll be right there!”


(Important Tidbit: My watch is great; a beautiful Timex Expedition with a digital compass. No… I don’t go hiking in the wilderness -- I don’t camp either. I have no need for the compass except it makes me happy and lets me know what direction I’m going… a man and his toys.)

After finishing up the task at hand, I proceeded to the kitchen to survey the damage. The watch’s display was showing characters resembling the Cyrillic alphabet. I don’t speak Russian so this is going to take a while.... Now where did I put that little tiny owner's manual.

“See Daddy, didn’t I do a great job? I fixed it for you?”

“You sure did buddy!”

Suffice it to say I will be running in circles for the rest of the day… “North! North! Where the Hell is North!”

Today’s Lessons:

1. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you!
2. Safeguard all personal property before leaving a room!
3. Order “Learn to speak Russian in 500 easy steps” from

For those of you who just can’t get enough Helper, check out this post “Laugh or Cry: A Top Ten List” – an oldie but a goody!


Angel said...

LOL funny! And I know all to well the 'shower window' and the visit while showering. It's easy with one home but when they are both home that's when they get in a big fight. *sigh*

My daughter will come in and visit, my son will come in and giggle (glass door and at a body conscious age. ugh)

Good luck learning Russian. hee hee.

Amanda said...

Oh, very cute!
I am SO lucky that my daughter still enjoys sitting in her exersaucer while I shower...something that won't last much longer and then, well, I'm pooched!!!

MyBestInvest said...

They never try anything simple when you're 100% tied up. It's never: "I cleaned up all my toys" or "I quietly read a book." It's something that, like you say, usually has the potential to prompt a 911 call.

Great post.

Anne said...

Chris; I finally got around to reading your blog... I was never so touched by anything I have read on the internet or actually, any place else ;-) Your love for your family is so evident... no wonder I love you. I also laughed till the tears came when reading about Christopher.... Thank You for a wonderful evening....I know that you will keep up the good work.