Wednesday, February 28, 2007


The post “What The…?” provided a light hearted look at cell phones and their place in our society. This morning it was brought to my attention, by Multi-Tasking Mommy of Circle of Life, that The Mom Blogs topic this week is cell phones. Some might recall that a little while back, I posted an article on cell phones and children. I thought that it might be time to re-post that link:

Cell Phones: A Parent’s Dilemma or Dream?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

What The...?

(Editor's Note: The following events actually took place on Tuesday, even though this is Wednesday What Nots... we're too late for Tuesday's Truth... slept through it, oh well.)

I ventured out into the “real” world this morning… all by myself… like a big boy!

I was on my way to my wonderful dentist to have a tooth fixed. Stop laughing, Jess!

I broke a tooth on Sunday, eating a Dorito.

And, you’re right Augs… it’s not the years, it’s the mileage!

As a man “matures” things start to fall off, break apart and shrivel up; its nature’s cruel joke, returning us to dust before our time.

Anyway, I was listening to my favorite classic rock station, (anyone born in the sixties doesn’t know a Akon from a Eminem) when the morning traffic report came on:

“Avoid the westbound Sunrise Highway, seems there’s a ‘Car-B-Que’ over there.”

A “Car-B-Que?”

I have to admit, after years of losing a few billion brain cells, it took me a minute to comprehend… the little people have taken their toll…

Then… it hit me!

OMG! That’s funny! Call TBS!

I felt a little bad laughing out loud, and it’ll probably come back to bite me... but c’mon… Car-B-Que.

Though, probably not as funny for the owner of the spontaneously combusting vehicle.

So I was in a relatively good mood when I arrived at the Dentist’s office. I was the first appointment of the day… I love that! No waiting… come right in!

But as I walked through the door of no return (you know the one) I noticed a sign:

What the...

My cell phone can flummox the machinery?

I know it can bring down planes during take offs and landings, and blow you to smithereens while pumping gas, but now they can blow up x-ray machines?

What kind of power do these little modern marvels possess?

If they have this kind of power while just being switched on, what happens when I actually place or receive a call? Nuclear Armageddon? Total elimination of all life on earth?

Al Gore was wrong... I know who really caused Global Warming... Motorola!

That’s it, the phone stays off unless I need it for a 911 call, or a shopping list text message… both matters of life and death.

As I’ve said before, I love my dentist. She’s the “Bomb!” (That’s for Augs and DraMa) Originally, she explained I might need a root canal, but she would do everything in her power to save the tooth. It ended up the damage was less severe than originally anticipated. I listened to her “big sister” speech on how I needed to return for a follow-up. She actually followed me to the appointment desk to make sure I booked the appointment. She’s a great dentist, but, boy she’s tough.

Quick side note:
*BIG CLAP HANDS* for spouses who provide a good living, as w
ell as, full dental coverage!

I returned home and napped my numbness away for the better part of the afternoon. This gave the Mommy some “quality” time alone with her sons… and me some “quality” time alone with my pillows – everyone was happy.

Then it was time for dinner. I needed to venture out again, into the dark cold night to pick up a prescription. I thought this would be a perfect excuse to pick up some MickeyD’s.

After a stop at the drug store I went over to the “Golden Arches” for some sustenance.

Hey, my dentist told me to "baby" my tooth for a couple of days… cheeseburgers are soft!

Besides, how much longer do I have left until my doctor puts me on a strict diet of fat-free cottage cheese and rice cakes?

I was on line at the drive-thru when I noticed another sign:

What the...

Now this is really starting to freak me out, Man!

Seems it “interferes” with the radio transmitters.

So I guess instead of getting a Big Mac I might end up with a Chalupa! And, at the same time extinguish all life within a 3 mile radius!

I refrained from any cellular communication while navigating the fifty feet of “radio free” driveway!

All this got me thinking of the 1970 song, “Signs,”

Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign

Blockin’ out the scenary breakin’ my mind

Do this, Don’t do that, Can’t you read the sign.

Its message is as appropriate today as it was thirty-seven years ago… only the players have changed!

Monday, February 26, 2007

In Case You Were Wondering...

Here’s the condensed version:

I broke a molar eating Doritos… I’m getting old… Dentist appointment Tuesday morning, but its okay, I love my dentist, Dr. Amiee, she’s wonderful, like Handy Manny she can fix anything… just bring her the pieces.

Helper continues to BOUNCE (LIKE TIGGER) off the walls.

“Don’t worry Daddy; I’m just bouncin’ like Tigger!”

Remember folks, our house is over 100 years old… but it’s lasted this long, right?

He bounces so much he forgot to use the potty last evening and ended up “leaking” on the kitchen floor… such is my life! But the groundhog DID see his shadow, right?

The Mommy organized all his arts and crafts to make it easy for him ME! Thank goodness! She’s so good to me!

The Baby is teething up a storm. He doesn’t sleep well because of it, but he’s not cranky. He’s such a good boy. Some occasional Tylenol and a cold teether, with some baby Orajel® have provided some much needed relief.

It snowed last night. It’s melting now. It’s a mess. I can’t wait for spring!

The Mommy spent some time Saturday playing with our new program from Thanks Mike! I even installed it on the Girl’s computer, and she actually thought it was cool. Mike’s right though, it seems to take much longer when you have “help.”

I’m reading Summer of Light, which I finally got last week, after reading AtHomeDaddy’s review.

I was informed that our friend, Donna, came in 3rd Place in the New York Latin Dance Championship. Yeah, she dances too! There are many facets to this extraordinary women. Congrats D! Way to go, Sis!

(Here she's pictured with her parter/instructor, world famous dancer Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine, 2 Time World Mambo Champion and has appeared on Dancing With The Stars and America's Ballroom Challenge.)

Spent some time reading Karly’s Drunkin’ Post. If you haven’t done so already you have to check it out. Drinking and Typing… not a good thing for LID!

That is all for now! I'll be back... fair warning!

Parents Are More Than Blood Relatives


After the "characters" involved read this post today they would like some changes made to their references. First, Ed would like to be known as "Uncle Ed" and Donna as "Big Sister." So be it, I'm obliged to help them anyway I can!

One definition of Parent is: “something from which one or more similar and separate things have developed, or to which they are attached.”

The relationship between a parent and child is one of natures purest. We’re more “related” to our children than we are to our spouses. But, this doesn’t mean we have to be related by blood to experience this special bond.

All of my “blood” parents live very far away and enjoy a well deserved retirement in “paradise.” My mother, stepfather, and dad all live on Florida’s west coast. They enjoy a lower cost of living and don’t have to suffer the northern winters. I don’t get to see them often, but, I do understand their need to be there.

Parents are more than biological ancestors; they are people who care for children, whether their own or others and it doesn’t matter how old those children are.

Fortunately, I have some local “parents” that fill the void...

My neighbor, Ed, is one of my best friends, but more than that, he takes care of me and my family, like a father… because he is a father.

He considers my children his grandchildren.

He and his “better-half,” Linda, come to their birthday parties bearing generous gifts and genuine well wishes.

On Halloween, they always have a big candy bar for the boy… at Christmas time, there’s always a present or two at Ed & Linda’s house.

In the dead of winter, he continually calls me, just to check on us.

They’re always there to run to the store at a moments notice, or flip us the keys to their car when needed.

Ed takes me fishing in the summer; we spend afternoons away from everything, just experiencing nature. Whether or not we catch anything, we always have a good time. We get to clear our heads of all our mundane daily tasks. We’re just friends enjoying a moment on the ocean; a “father” and “son” spending time alone, as men.

He helps me with my lawn and leaf clean-up, and uses his “monster” snow blower to clear my driveway when the snow falls.

In return, we treat him like our father.

I’m always there to help him with any “project” he has gotten himself into and, my wife always includes them in her cooking binges.

The Helper needs to have his “Eddie and ‘Winda’” fix, too. “Let’s go see Eddie!” “I wonder what Eddie’s doin’?” “Here comes Ed, Dad!” “Where’s ‘Winda’s’ car?” “Did ‘Winda” go to work?”

They have a very special bond.

We’re included in all their “events” and they in ours. Even if we’re planning a small family gathering, there’s never a question about including Ed and Linda… they’re our family.

We have another “friend/parent,” Donna. She lives alone in a big beautiful house (I’ve done most of the work on it.) Donna never had any of her “own” children. But, she has a son, a daughter, and grandchildren.

She has framed pictures of the Helper… her grandson.

And like Ed and Linda, she’s always included in our intimate events.

Like any “natural” parent she cares for her children when they’re hurt…

When I blew my knee out, a few summers ago, Donna was at the hospital within twenty minutes of the ambulance delivering me. She stayed the entire time, making sure I was properly cared for by the staff. She is the Assistant Director of Nursing at Long Island’s largest hospital.

From the time the Baby was conceived we knew he’d be born at Donna’s hospital.

In fact, we insisted!

With all the problems my wife had with the Helper, at another facility, we didn’t want to take any chances.

Our “mother” Donna (she’ll hate that, as it infers a slight clue to her age), was the one I picked up at the airport a few months back. At the end of this week she’ll be off again, this time to Las Vegas for a poker tourney. We’ve agreed to only carry on bags this time!

I will again be charged with the care of her furry friends, as well as, looking after the house.

We’ll miss her, but wish her “luck” on her adventure. She’ll need it!

It’ll be another late night pick-up at New York’s LaGuardia airport on Sunday… wish us luck!

Donna cares for us like her own, and we for her. It’s what children do.

My family is blessed to have these people in our lives. They’re more than friends they’re our family. An old saying says, “You don’t get to choose your family.” I don’t think this is entirely accurate…

While we may not get to choose who we’re related to by “blood,” we can develop relationships that are as strong, if not stronger, than natural family bonds.