(Editor's Note: The following events actually took place on Tuesday, even though this is Wednesday What Nots... we're too late for Tuesday's Truth... slept through it, oh well.)
I ventured out into the “real” world this morning… all by myself… like a big boy!
I was on my way to my wonderful dentist to have a tooth fixed. Stop laughing, Jess!
I broke a tooth on Sunday, eating a Dorito.
And, you’re right Augs… it’s not the years, it’s the mileage!
As a man “matures” things start to fall off, break apart and shrivel up; its nature’s cruel joke, returning us to dust before our time.
Anyway, I was listening to my favorite classic rock station, (anyone born in the sixties doesn’t know a Akon from a Eminem) when the morning traffic report came on:
“Avoid the westbound Sunrise Highway, seems there’s a ‘Car-B-Que’ over there.”
I have to admit, after years of losing a few billion brain cells, it took me a minute to comprehend… the little people have taken their toll…
Then… it hit me!
OMG! That’s funny! Call TBS!
I felt a little bad laughing out loud, and it’ll probably come back to bite me... but c’mon… Car-B-Que.
Though, probably not as funny for the owner of the spontaneously combusting vehicle.
So I was in a relatively good mood when I arrived at the Dentist’s office. I was the first appointment of the day… I love that! No waiting… come right in!But as I walked through the door of no return (you know the one) I noticed a sign:
My cell phone can flummox the machinery?
I know it can bring down planes during take offs and landings, and blow you to smithereens while pumping gas, but now they can blow up x-ray machines?
What kind of power do these little modern marvels possess?
If they have this kind of power while just being switched on, what happens when I actually place or receive a call? Nuclear Armageddon? Total elimination of all life on earth?
Al Gore was wrong... I know who really caused Global Warming... Motorola!
That’s it, the phone stays off unless I need it for a 911 call, or a shopping list text message… both matters of life and death.
As I’ve said before, I love my dentist. She’s the “Bomb!” (That’s for Augs and DraMa) Originally, she explained I might need a root canal, but she would do everything in her power to save the tooth. It ended up the damage was less severe than originally anticipated. I listened to her “big sister” speech on how I needed to return for a follow-up. She actually followed me to the appointment desk to make sure I booked the appointment. She’s a great dentist, but, boy she’s tough.
Quick side note:
*BIG CLAP HANDS* for spouses who provide a good living, as well as, full dental coverage!
I returned home and napped my numbness away for the better part of the afternoon. This gave the Mommy some “quality” time alone with her sons… and me some “quality” time alone with my pillows – everyone was happy.
Then it was time for dinner. I needed to venture out again, into the dark cold night to pick up a prescription. I thought this would be a perfect excuse to pick up some MickeyD’s.
After a stop at the drug store I went over to the “Golden Arches” for some sustenance.
Hey, my dentist told me to "baby" my tooth for a couple of days… cheeseburgers are soft!
Besides, how much longer do I have left until my doctor puts me on a strict diet of fat-free cottage cheese and rice cakes?
I was on line at the drive-thru when I noticed another sign:
Now this is really starting to freak me out, Man!
Seems it “interferes” with the radio transmitters.
So I guess instead of getting a Big Mac I might end up with a Chalupa! And, at the same time extinguish all life within a 3 mile radius!
I refrained from any cellular communication while navigating the fifty feet of “radio free” driveway!
All this got me thinking of the 1970 song, “Signs,”
Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign
Blockin’ out the scenary breakin’ my mind
Do this, Don’t do that, Can’t you read the sign.
Its message is as appropriate today as it was thirty-seven years ago… only the players have changed!