Long Island Dad

I’m Here… But Not Really!

2007-04-20T11:55:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all my “friends” who have been wondering where I’ve been. For a guy who posted daily… sometimes 2-3 times a day to nothing in over a month… it might appear just a little odd… Hmmmmm…

But you guys came through – you didn’t forget about dear ‘ole Long Island Dad. You all emailed me at least twice to stay updated. And, for those of you who didn’t here’s the update on my disappearance into a black hole.

As you probably remember reading, I had volunteered to do “some” work for the Long Island 2 Day Walk To Fight Breast Cancer. Well after some minor administrative work I was given a little more to do… and then even more than that. After a while I was asked to be on the Planning Committee for this wonderful organization. If you visit, http://www.li2day.org/whoweare.asp, you’ll see Long Island Dad’s name listed.

How do you say no to an organization whose sole purpose is a “grass roots” effort to help people? You don’t. Not when you have the time and the desire. So what started as an hour or so a day has now snow balled into an almost full-time gig, as the Walk is in June. I’m doing most of their website updating, a lot of graphic design work, merchandise coordination and about eleven other things…

The people I’ve met and interacted with have been some of the most dedicated, extraordinary people I have ever met in my life. Selfless to the core -- an inspiration to say the least… makes me get up everyday and “go to work!”

What makes this effort different from any other, including the big name national ones you always hear about, is this organization is a 1,000 member, strictly volunteer based, Walk, that gives 100% not 99.9% -- 100% of the donations raised to local coalitions, local research and it’s own scholarship fund. All the administrative and walk expenses are covered by the generous sponsors – from large national ones, like Toyota, UPS, and Southwest Airlines to small local bagel stores and everything in between. I’ve learned that in the non-profit world if you want to raise $300,000 it actually costs $300,000… that’s the reality. If it weren’t for volunteers, sponsors, in-kind donations none of this would happen.

This organization makes it possible for people who have no transportation to their treatments to get there… those who have no one to watch their children – babysitting… those too sick to take care of their homes – cleaning services… those who have children that can’t go to college because of medical expenses – a scholarship fund… those who can’t pay for treatment – medical expense assistance… those who don’t know where to turn – places that welcome them and support them 24 hours a day 7 days a week. This is the difference… real people getting real help when they need it most. Not arbitrary funds that go to “find a cure!” Real people, real stories, real effects!

Now… for what you’ve been waiting for… the update on the Helper and the Baby… THEY’RE GREAT!!!! Well, relatively speaking that is – it’s been cold here so outdoor activities have been limited and the Helper has literally been bouncing (like Tigger) off the walls. But now the weather seems to have broken and my sanity will return incrementally with the temperature increase. The Helper wants to ride bikes today – I got a trailer attachment for my bike to take the Baby so that’s what we’re doing this afternoon. Oh, and gone are the days of the Baby’s long naps as he now 7 months old… and his brother can’t be quiet to save his life…

So how do I get all my “work” done and take care of the little people AND maintain the house… I’m that good… and sleep is for wimps!!!

Arts & Leisure

2007-03-07T11:05:00.000-05:00

This Saturday night, March 10th, 2007, Long Island Dad and The Mommy will be attending an “Art Evolution.” While I’m by no means an art aficionado, I know what I like and I know great pieces when I see them...

Artist/Designer Brian Kirhagis uses his unparalleled talent to create unbelievable interpretations of life and experiences. For an example of what I’m talking about please visit his personal site at www.brikart.net and click on the "Originals" link at the top of the page.

Brian is also the head designer and president of BrikWork, Inc., a full service design, video, web and graphics company. He and his team bring a unique perspective to this field. Whether you’re in the market for a new company logo, fresh looks for your website or some video work please visit Brian’s company at www.brikwork.net.

I hope you have the chance to visit his “Evolution” next week.

Please click on the flyer below to enlarge it for details, or visit www.brikart.net for more information.

Where ‘Ya Been?

2007-03-07T09:52:00.000-05:00

Recently, some of you may have noticed a decline in posting frequency here at Long Island Dad. This is due to some added responsibilities taken on by yours truly. I have been asked by the Executive Director of the Long Island 2 Day Walk to Fight Breast Cancer to help out with some administrative computer work.

Needless to say, this is an honor. While I can’t participate in the walk itself (someone has to watch the kiddies), this is how I can help. I’m home anyway. I will help this great cause in any way I can. So some of my precious “alone, undisturbed computer time” has had to be redirected.

This, combined with, some craziness of schedules here at the ranch has caused a down tick in postings.

As I’ve always said, one of the best ways to teach our children charity and compassion is through example. While we continue to instill a sense of drive for success in our children, this must always be paired with a sense to help others. In building character; the two go hand in hand.

I’ve always tried to “do my part.” My children see this and hopefully will mimic these actions as they enter their adult lives.

My wife and I have very little time to devote to worthy causes so we chose "our" causes very carefully. The Long Island 2 Day Walk to Fight Breast Cancer is a cause we’ve been 100% committed to since its inception. Long Island has one of the highest incidents of breast cancer in the country. 100% of the proceeds from this walk stay right here on Long Island to help fellow Islander’s afflicted with this terrible disease. This particular walk has little to no overhead because of many generous local sponsors – this ensures the maximum amount raised go directly to those who need it most. Nobody involved with this walk takes any compensation. This makes it different from most other fund raisers around the country.

Unfortunately, being a Long Islander this disease has affected our family too. We fight on behalf of those who can no longer fight!

Thanks for understanding.

Long Island Dad will continue to post as frequently as I can. The Helper’s not going anywhere and I’m sure he’ll be up to something shortly.

I'm A Bad Guy!

2007-03-04T06:40:00.000-05:00

“Daddy, I’m a BAD GUY!”

“What!”

“Yeah, I’m a bad guy. Can you make me a ‘bad guy’ hat?”

[Referring to a sort of ‘skull cap’ we make him with his favorite blankie.]

“You’re not a bad guy; you’re a good guy, honey.”

“Nah, I’m a bad guy.”

“Are Mommy and Nannie bad guys, too?” [Just fishing here folks...]

“No they’re good guys!”

“What about me?”

“You’re Daddy.” [Hmmmm...]

After about ten minutes, and after the ‘hat’ fell off…

“Are you still a bad guy?”

“Nope.”

Ahhhh... institutional reform really does work. Just goes to prove, if you lock’em up long enough with no hope of ever seeing the outside world, anybody can be reformed.

Have I said lately, I can’t wait for Spring!

Coincidence?

2007-02-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

The post “What The…?” provided a light hearted look at cell phones and their place in our society. This morning it was brought to my attention, by Multi-Tasking Mommy of Circle of Life, that The Mom Blogs topic this week is cell phones. Some might recall that a little while back, I posted an article on cell phones and children. I thought that it might be time to re-post that link:

Cell Phones: A Parent’s Dilemma or Dream?

What The...?

2007-02-27T21:59:00.000-05:00

(Editor's Note: The following events actually took place on Tuesday, even though this is Wednesday What Nots... we're too late for Tuesday's Truth... slept through it, oh well.)

I ventured out into the “real” world this morning… all by myself… like a big boy!

I was on my way to my wonderful dentist to have a tooth fixed. Stop laughing, Jess!

I broke a tooth on Sunday, eating a Dorito.

And, you’re right Augs… it’s not the years, it’s the mileage!

As a man “matures” things start to fall off, break apart and shrivel up; its nature’s cruel joke, returning us to dust before our time.

Anyway, I was listening to my favorite classic rock station, (anyone born in the sixties doesn’t know a Akon from a Eminem) when the morning traffic report came on:

“Avoid the westbound Sunrise Highway, seems there’s a ‘Car-B-Que’ over there.”

A “Car-B-Que?”

I have to admit, after years of losing a few billion brain cells, it took me a minute to comprehend… the little people have taken their toll…

Then… it hit me!

OMG! That’s funny! Call TBS!

I felt a little bad laughing out loud, and it’ll probably come back to bite me... but c’mon… Car-B-Que.

Though, probably not as funny for the owner of the spontaneously combusting vehicle.

So I was in a relatively good mood when I arrived at the Dentist’s office. I was the first appointment of the day… I love that! No waiting… come right in!

But as I walked through the door of no return (you know the one) I noticed a sign:

What the...

My cell phone can flummox the machinery?

I know it can bring down planes during take offs and landings, and blow you to smithereens while pumping gas, but now they can blow up x-ray machines?

What kind of power do these little modern marvels possess?

If they have this kind of power while just being switched on, what happens when I actually place or receive a call? Nuclear Armageddon? Total elimination of all life on earth?

Al Gore was wrong... I know who really caused Global Warming... Motorola!

That’s it, the phone stays off unless I need it for a 911 call, or a shopping list text message… both matters of life and death.

As I’ve said before, I love my dentist. She’s the “Bomb!” (That’s for Augs and DraMa) Originally, she explained I might need a root canal, but she would do everything in her power to save the tooth. It ended up the damage was less severe than originally anticipated. I listened to her “big sister” speech on how I needed to return for a follow-up. She actually followed me to the appointment desk to make sure I booked the appointment. She’s a great dentist, but, boy she’s tough.

Quick side note:
*BIG CLAP HANDS* for spouses who provide a good living, as well as, full dental coverage!

I returned home and napped my numbness away for the better part of the afternoon. This gave the Mommy some “quality” time alone with her sons… and me some “quality” time alone with my pillows – everyone was happy.

Then it was time for dinner. I needed to venture out again, into the dark cold night to pick up a prescription. I thought this would be a perfect excuse to pick up some MickeyD’s.

After a stop at the drug store I went over to the “Golden Arches” for some sustenance.

Hey, my dentist told me to "baby" my tooth for a couple of days… cheeseburgers are soft!

Besides, how much longer do I have left until my doctor puts me on a strict diet of fat-free cottage cheese and rice cakes?

I was on line at the drive-thru when I noticed another sign:

What the...

Now this is really starting to freak me out, Man!

Seems it “interferes” with the radio transmitters.

So I guess instead of getting a Big Mac I might end up with a Chalupa! And, at the same time extinguish all life within a 3 mile radius!

I refrained from any cellular communication while navigating the fifty feet of “radio free” driveway!

All this got me thinking of the 1970 song, “Signs,”

Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign

Blockin’ out the scenary breakin’ my mind

Do this, Don’t do that, Can’t you read the sign.

Its message is as appropriate today as it was thirty-seven years ago… only the players have changed!

In Case You Were Wondering...

2007-02-26T15:22:00.000-05:00

Here’s the condensed version:

I broke a molar eating Doritos… I’m getting old… Dentist appointment Tuesday morning, but its okay, I love my dentist, Dr. Amiee, she’s wonderful, like Handy Manny she can fix anything… just bring her the pieces.

Helper continues to BOUNCE (LIKE TIGGER) off the walls.

“Don’t worry Daddy; I’m just bouncin’ like Tigger!”

Remember folks, our house is over 100 years old… but it’s lasted this long, right?

He bounces so much he forgot to use the potty last evening and ended up “leaking” on the kitchen floor… such is my life! But the groundhog DID see his shadow, right?

The Mommy organized all his arts and crafts to make it easy for ~~him~~ ME! Thank goodness! She’s so good to me!

The Baby is teething up a storm. He doesn’t sleep well because of it, but he’s not cranky. He’s such a good boy. Some occasional Tylenol and a cold teether, with some baby Orajel® have provided some much needed relief.

It snowed last night. It’s melting now. It’s a mess. I can’t wait for spring!

The Mommy spent some time Saturday playing with our new program from LegoFactory.com. Thanks Mike! I even installed it on the Girl’s computer, and she actually thought it was cool. Mike’s right though, it seems to take much longer when you have “help.”

I’m reading Summer of Light, which I finally got last week, after reading AtHomeDaddy’s review.

I was informed that our friend, Donna, came in 3^rd Place in the New York Latin Dance Championship. Yeah, she dances too! There are many facets to this extraordinary women. Congrats D! Way to go, Sis!

(Here she's pictured with her parter/instructor, world famous dancer Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine, 2 Time World Mambo Champion and has appeared on Dancing With The Stars and America's Ballroom Challenge.)

Spent some time reading Karly’s Drunkin’ Post. If you haven’t done so already you have to check it out. Drinking and Typing… not a good thing for LID!

That is all for now! I'll be back... fair warning!

Parents Are More Than Blood Relatives

2007-02-26T09:32:00.000-05:00

Update:

After the "characters" involved read this post today they would like some changes made to their references. First, Ed would like to be known as "Uncle Ed" and Donna as "Big Sister." So be it, I'm obliged to help them anyway I can!

One definition of Parent is: “something from which one or more similar and separate things have developed, or to which they are attached.”

The relationship between a parent and child is one of natures purest. We’re more “related” to our children than we are to our spouses. But, this doesn’t mean we have to be related by blood to experience this special bond.

All of my “blood” parents live very far away and enjoy a well deserved retirement in “paradise.” My mother, stepfather, and dad all live on Florida’s west coast. They enjoy a lower cost of living and don’t have to suffer the northern winters. I don’t get to see them often, but, I do understand their need to be there.

Parents are more than biological ancestors; they are people who care for children, whether their own or others and it doesn’t matter how old those children are.

Fortunately, I have some local “parents” that fill the void...

My neighbor, Ed, is one of my best friends, but more than that, he takes care of me and my family, like a father… because he is a father.

He considers my children his grandchildren.

He and his “better-half,” Linda, come to their birthday parties bearing generous gifts and genuine well wishes.

On Halloween, they always have a big candy bar for the boy… at Christmas time, there’s always a present or two at Ed & Linda’s house.

In the dead of winter, he continually calls me, just to check on us.

They’re always there to run to the store at a moments notice, or flip us the keys to their car when needed.

Ed takes me fishing in the summer; we spend afternoons away from everything, just experiencing nature. Whether or not we catch anything, we always have a good time. We get to clear our heads of all our mundane daily tasks. We’re just friends enjoying a moment on the ocean; a “father” and “son” spending time alone, as men.

He helps me with my lawn and leaf clean-up, and uses his “monster” snow blower to clear my driveway when the snow falls.

In return, we treat him like our father.

I’m always there to help him with any “project” he has gotten himself into and, my wife always includes them in her cooking binges.

The Helper needs to have his “Eddie and ‘Winda’” fix, too. “Let’s go see Eddie!” “I wonder what Eddie’s doin’?” “Here comes Ed, Dad!” “Where’s ‘Winda’s’ car?” “Did ‘Winda” go to work?”

They have a very special bond.

We’re included in all their “events” and they in ours. Even if we’re planning a small family gathering, there’s never a question about including Ed and Linda… they’re our family.
We have another “friend/parent,” Donna. She lives alone in a big beautiful house (I’ve done most of the work on it.) Donna never had any of her “own” children. But, she has a son, a daughter, and grandchildren.

She has framed pictures of the Helper… her grandson.

And like Ed and Linda, she’s always included in our intimate events.

Like any “natural” parent she cares for her children when they’re hurt…

When I blew my knee out, a few summers ago, Donna was at the hospital within twenty minutes of the ambulance delivering me. She stayed the entire time, making sure I was properly cared for by the staff. She is the Assistant Director of Nursing at Long Island’s largest hospital.

From the time the Baby was conceived we knew he’d be born at Donna’s hospital.

In fact, we insisted!

With all the problems my wife had with the Helper, at another facility, we didn’t want to take any chances.

Our “mother” Donna (she’ll hate that, as it infers a slight clue to her age), was the one I picked up at the airport a few months back. At the end of this week she’ll be off again, this time to Las Vegas for a poker tourney. We’ve agreed to only carry on bags this time!

I will again be charged with the care of her furry friends, as well as, looking after the house.
We’ll miss her, but wish her “luck” on her adventure. She’ll need it!

It’ll be another late night pick-up at New York’s LaGuardia airport on Sunday… wish us luck!
Donna cares for us like her own, and we for her. It’s what children do.

My family is blessed to have these people in our lives. They’re more than friends they’re our family. An old saying says, “You don’t get to choose your family.” I don’t think this is entirely accurate…

While we may not get to choose who we’re related to by “blood,” we can develop relationships that are as strong, if not stronger, than natural family bonds.

Rabbits

2007-02-23T22:01:00.000-05:00

While I normally try to maintain some sense of decorum and decency here at LID, sometimes things just find their way to my inbox that I can’t resist. You may have already received this yourselves, but I’m still ROFLing!

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,

"Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says,

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers,

"I weally don’t fink my pet pyfon gives a phuk."

Big Foot?

2007-02-23T21:21:00.000-05:00

It's gonna take a lot more then just wearin' 'em to fill my shoes, buddy!

Happiness Is… Hot Water!

2007-02-23T17:28:00.000-05:00

Not to be outdone by Drama Mama’s recent post regarding her adulation for her new floor cleaning apparatus, I wanted to let you know LID has a new appliance that trumps even the best vacuum (and I’m a huge fan of my Dyson knock-off by Hoover, don’t get me wrong)…

A Brand New High-Efficiency, Digitally Controlled, Hot Water Heater.

Hot water for the washing machine, hot showers, using the dishwasher without worry… these are just some of the things my new hot water heater can do. His predecessor served the house well for over 20 years. His time had come. In order to get hot water, I would have to tinker with the burner on a daily basis and then cross my fingers, pray and then drink a beer to overcome my frustrations!

But now… in this age of all things digital… this machine anticipates need, call and adjusts to demand automatically… never leaving someone with shampoo in their hair! Ah…. Modern wonders! And, if that wasn’t enough, supposedly it will cost me a third of what the old one did to operate… the hits just keep on coming!

For those of you who are into this sort of thing… like I am, its recovery rate is 114 gallons per hour. That translates into hot shower after hot shower… continuously… forever! Not to steal anyone else’s thunder… but… Oh, The Joys!!!!

Okay, I’ve gushed enough about an inanimate object.

I need to return to my duties… perhaps a load of dishes in piping hot water that will never run out! Damn… I can’t stop myself!

Order, Planning and Cleanliness Can Bite You In The A%#!

2007-02-23T09:14:00.000-05:00

One of the ways I’m ~~surviving~~ successful as a stay-at-home-parent is through order and planning. When I first started my new career, I relied on my acquired skills from my previous profession.

I like plans.

I like order.

I crave neatness.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

But… this can be a double edged sword when dealing with the little people. Children love to mimic, copy, and continually show us what they’ve learned.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? (Although, I’m SURE you do.)

Here’s my latest example…

While looking out the front window the other day (remind me to move the couch away from the windows) the Helper reminded me I was failing in my yard maintenance duties…

“Daddy, look at YOUR yard… you have to go and clean it up!”

“It’s winter, honey, we don’t do anything with the yard in the winter.”

“Yeah… it’s a MESS!”

Obvious first thought,
So is YOUR room.
Then I remembered… He makes me clean that up too.

So instead, I offered,
“When it gets warmer out WE’LL have to clean up the property.”

To which I was told, with a tone of disgust,
“Yeah… just look at the MESS!”

Children learn most effectively by observing others. We’re soooo proud of them when they emulate us -- even when they’re throwing it back in our face!

An Open Letter of Thanks...

2007-02-22T07:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Angel, Angela, Mike, Janet, Jessica, Jeff, Keith, MBI, Karly, Stephanie, and Terri, and to all of you who “lurked” and didn’t comment but sent your well wishes anyway,

Thanks for your comments and words of support, as well as all your prayers. They have certainly helped… a lot. It’s nice to know there are people who care!

I’m a big believer in positive thinking and prayer… it works.

My Dad is much better and should be going home today. After a battery of tests showing nothing seriously wrong it was concluded that a change in his blood pressure medication might have caused his stroke. It seems when you get older any change in regulation of such an important thing can have side effects… serious ones.

His only problem was that his hospital room is directly across the street from his golf course. His room actually overlooked the first hole. Not good for him, someone should have really thought about that. But, yesterday, before they played, all his buddies stopped in to check on him. That was great! Although, when they left I’m sure he was thinking of ways to go with them… in fact I know he was.

Thanks again,

Chris

P.S. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming. Unfortunately, Tool Box Thursday has been pre-empted until next week. But I’ll come up with some silly sit-com featuring the Helper to fill the void.

Missing Post Note

2007-02-21T18:28:00.000-05:00

If you came looking for "Warrior, Patriot, Man... Father" it will be back up soon. I need to do some photo and layout editing. I wasn't happy with the layout or quality. Thanks - CF

Then The Phone Rang...

2007-02-21T06:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was supposed to post my installment of Tuesday’s Truth. I had a funny list of stuff to post for the “libations” section and was working on some great links.

But then the phone rang.

Not an unusual occurrence around here, but the caller ID showed a number I vaguely recognized.

It was the number of one of my father’s best friends. Actually, it was his cell phone number.

I answered the phone... it was my father.

He lives in Palm Harbor, Florida, which is just north of Clearwater Beach. I started off with the usual, “How’s it going down there?” I was curious as to why he was using his friend’s cell phone, but thought his battery might be dead. A phone call from the golf course is not unusual for him.

Much to my surprise, his normal witty retort about the weather didn’t come. Instead he said, "Not good."

He had a stroke.

He had lost control of the entire right side of his body.

He is 77 years old.

By the time he was able to call me, the feeling and sensation to the affected areas had returned. Good news!

He will remain in the hospital for a few days to undergo a battery of tests.

I got another phone call last night from my step-mother. (My parents divorced when I was 8 years old.) She told me he was finally in his own room and gave me his number, but not to call him because he was wiped out and was going to sleep.

I agreed to call him today.

I know he’s in good hands; my step-mother is a doctor of nursing education, as well as, a registered nurse and a former associate professor of nursing at the University of Massachusetts.

She also informed me that his “buddies” had immediately rushed to his side. His golf buddies, his poker buddies and he was joking with them all. He was concerned that he would miss last night’s weekly poker game and today’s round of golf. More Good News!

I was working on another “father” post to follow “Grandfathers.” It was going to run next week. But, I think I will finish it today, as time allows, and post it as soon as it’s done.

I look forward to sharing my father’s story, as he is a man who has fascinated me my entire life.

Updates & More...

2007-02-19T16:10:00.000-05:00

Update on the Helper

Thanks so much for all the well wishes during our recent bout with sickness. So far, only one of us has succumbed to the vicious ailment… the Mommy. She’s better today and back to work; she’s such a trooper! It’s a good thing, because the last time I checked I didn’t have any sick days left…

The Helper fully recovered by the weekend in order to spend the entire day, Saturday, tormenting his sister. She enjoys him a lot, but now I know why her MP3 player earphones are in all the time. The good news is nothing was broken this weekend due to their antics.

Update on Bleach Post

It has come to my attention that I did not give proper mixing information in my post. Nor, did I provide an alternative for anti-bleach advocates.

Proper mixing for disinfection purposes is one (1) capful of bleach to 2 gallons of water.

An approved substitute for bleach is white vinegar. The disinfecting properties of white vinegar are the same as bleach, but much less caustic. They both smell bad so the choice is yours.

Update on Theme Days

You may have noticed that the “Theme Days” have vanished. Not to worry they’re coming back. They had to be suspended due to “the sickness” and Angel’s tagging which actually inspired the post on Grandfathers. I have some “libations” ready to go for tomorrow and Tool Box Thursday is coming along nicely. This week Photo Friday will focus on some scenery shots, inspired by Terry over at Road Rage.

Of Local Interest
The Long Island 2 Day Walk for Breast Cancer will be holding a Press Conference on Tuesday, March 20, 2007 at 10 a.m. Location: Islip MacArthur Airport, Ronkonkoma, NY (in the new Southwest Terminal).

Grandfathers

2007-02-19T07:57:00.000-05:00

I have been “tagged” by Angel from Angel’s Cloud to do a “5 Things About Me” meme. I have to admit that I am rather boring; I’m not claustrophobic, I’m not afraid of much, except maybe heights… but I got over that being a builder.

So I thought, instead of boring you with benign facts about your’s truly, I would explain a little bit about where I came from. More specifically, my relationship with my fathers’ and their fathers’ and what shaped me into the Dad I am today.

A little while back, I said, “Men learn how to be men from other men…We learn how to be gentlemen from watching true gentle men. Father’s are not easily impressed by their sons, but they’re always proud of them. As men, we’re remembered by the character of the men we raise.” For better or worse, we’re shaped by the men who have come before us. We raise our sons based on the influences in our lives. As we get older, we learn to extract the good and discard the bad. But all our experiences are there to draw on as we mold the next generation of men.

With that in mind, and being the fact that this is, after all, Long Island Dad, I’m going to start with a segment on my grandfathers. In order to truly "know" things about a person you must know where they came from; what influences they had in their lives and who were/are their role models. I’ll include some interesting facts about me to keep your interest… I promise.

My Middle Name - “Bryan”

As I told you a little while back, the Helper is not a junior because we don’t share a middle name. My middle name is “Bryan.” Not odd at all, except for the “y” spelling. It’s actually a family surname; my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. I am a direct descendant of William Jennings Bryan (please click the link to learn more about him). While I don’t share a lot of his religious beliefs or political views, I am, in fact, intrigued and active in both politics and religion.

My “Grandpa” (Maternal Grandfather)

In a previous post I described the relationship between me and my maternal grandfather; a great man who I still use as a role model to this day.

If you haven’t done so already, please read Pens and Pocket Knives, for an understanding of my relationship with him.

My “Poppa Sam” (Paternal Grandfather)

My paternal grandfather was a stoic man of finance. He was a banker. He attended the Wharton School of Finance (the same school as Donald Trump), and rose through the ranks, finally achieving the position of Vice Chairman of Commercial Loans for The First National City Bank of New York, now known as Citibank or Citigroup. (Right Photo: My Grandfather at his retirement party in 1965, before Long Island Dad was born.)

In his time, he was the man large national companies went to for money. They included AT&T, General Motors, DuPont Chemical, and many others. He was a money man. He taught me the value of a dollar, as well as, what to do with that dollar… to bad I haven’t listened so far.

Interesting tidbits; the Baby shares his middle name with my grandfather; my grandparents waited until my grandfather’s retirement in 1965 to take a honeymoon (after having been married for over 40 years), they sailed to Europe on the original Queen Mary in 1966 and spent many months touring Europe. (Left Photo: My Grandparents toasting their Bon Voyage aboard the RMS Queen Mary I, New York Harbor, October 1966)

Upon their return, my grandparents sold their house here on Long Island and retired to Cape Cod, Massachusetts. They became the ultimate “snow birds,” spending summers on the Cape and winters in Naples, Florida.

My grandfather had worked hard all his life and rewarded himself with a great retirement. Unfortunately, he only enjoyed it for eight years. He died in May of 1973; I was 8 years old. This was my first encounter with death; I remember his funeral like it was yesterday. My grandmother (being of 100% Irish decent) lived another 23 years after his death, until she finally passed in 1996.

The thing I remember most about my grandfather, who we called “Poppa Sam,” (to this day I still don’t know why), was the time he and I would spend together on Cape Cod. As a boy I would go up to the Cape every summer… yeah, I know, such a spoiled brat… after having his breakfast, my grandfather would take me for a ride in the car. We would stop for the morning newspapers and then it was off to the beach. He would sit on the bench and read the papers while I ran, jumped and frolicked like little boys do. In the afternoon, after his beloved Red Sox (I know… hurts me to this day!) lost and before cocktail hour, he would play a board game or he would color with me. (Right Photo: A much younger Long Island Dad coloring with Poppa Sam, Naples, FL 1971)

He was not a man of many words or outward signs of affection but I know he loved me. He wasn’t the grandpa who hugged or kissed you or tucked you into bed. He wasn’t the man who took you fishing or taught you how to use tools. He didn’t have a workshop – he hired “that” stuff out. But, in spite of this, and probably because of this, the time he and I spent together, alone, are some of my greatest memories from childhood.

(Left Photo: My Grandparents on their back porch, Cape Cod, Summer 1975, a year before my grandfather passed away. This is the last picture they took together.)

Sometimes You Just Need Your Mommy!

2007-02-15T11:26:00.000-05:00

“Daddy, where’s Mommy?”

“She’s had to go to work honey, she’ll be home later.”

“But who’ll take care o’me?”

“I will, sweetie.”

“No… can I talk to Mommy on the phone?”

[After a phone call to Mommy where she reassured him she’ll be home as soon as she can.]

“Mommy be home soon to take care’o’me!

“Okay.”

[Literally, five minutes later...]

“Daddy, can I have somefin’ to eat?”

“Daddy, can you help me in the potty?”

“Daddy, can you get my blankie?”

“Daddy, can you put my shows on?”

“Daddy, can you get me somfin’ to drink?”

“Sure Buddy! See I can take care of you too!”

“No… Mommy takes care’o’me, you get me stuff!”

Sometimes you just need your Mommy…

Bleach... My Dear Friends, BLEACH!

2007-02-15T08:10:00.000-05:00

Inspired by the events of the past few days…

In lieu of Tool Box Thursday, I’m offering a tip provided by the Mommy. As most of you know, the Mommy is a restaurant manager for a large national company. Ever wonder how a restaurant cleans and disinfects its surfaces?

Bleach, my dear friends… Bleach!

Piping hot water mixed with a generous amount of straight bleach combined with a clean, white terry cloth rag is the ONLY Board of Health approved method for disinfecting surfaces. No wimpy, non-caustic cleaners here! No “safe for all surfaces” sprays for me, folks! Its basic bleach and hot water, approved by the Board of Health!

Little known fact… a restaurant can be heavily fined if they don’t have “bleach buckets” in certain areas! These buckets are cleaned and freshened throughout the day to provide maximum effectiveness.

Today, I will endeavor to clean all hard surfaces with my “wonder solution.” Hopefully, exterminating the little guys who got my little guy sick… bastards!

Beware, this concoction is extremely unforgiving to manicures, clothing and nasal passages… but it works. In his four years on this earth the Helper has only puked twice!

He’s only had ONE ear infection and I can count the colds he’s had on one hand!

As they say, “the proof is in the puddin’”

It Finally Happened!

2007-02-15T05:29:00.000-05:00

After a month of reading everyone else's posts, it finally happened here... so much for my anti-virus software.

It was inevitable.

The winter, a closed up house, and playing with other carrier monkeys has taken its toll on our intrepid hero... the Helper.

It all started Tuesday night (explaining LID's disappearance for the last couple of days), with the innocent line, "Daddy, my tummy doesn't feel good!"

The rest, as "they" say, is history... Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

I'll spare you the gory details (if you require tales of warm, chunky vomit running down your back please visit Karly at Wiping Up Snot)... as you're all well versed in what happens next. Suffice it to say posting will be limited for the rest of the week as I don my nurse's scrubs and take care of the family. Tool Box Thursday will return next week at your regularly scheduled time... please check your local listings.

After having yesterday off to take care of her son, the Mommy headed back to work this morning at 5 a.m.... with only 3 hours sleep in the past 48... no symptoms... yet!

The Helper has started to drink and eat some small portions... we're being extremely cautious regarding his consumption of anything... as I'd rather not see it again... you know what I mean.

My wonderful, 98 year old father-in-law has also been taken down... the Nannie is tending to him. It seems are heroes from the other day acquired this "bug" together... they are indeed best friends.

I now have to get back to my duties... seems the nurse's buzzer is ringing. I will keep you posted on our condition as the situation warrants... where are my rubber gloves and bucket?

As I said to our friend Mike, before his weekend of supposed slumber...

Via Con Dios, Amigos!

Why is it...?

2007-02-13T12:16:00.000-05:00

This list could go on forever, so I’ve limited it to only today’s issues. As parents, things come up that always beg the question, “Why is it….?” Here’s today’s offering:

Why is it…

… that a well fed, clean, sleeping 4 month old will immediately awake when his father starts running water for a shower… yet sleep through an hours long vacuuming session?

… a requested snack, once prepared, is summarily deemed “yucky!”

… when you can’t take any more… more comes?

… that the kitchen garbage is always full?

… three men can’t seem to nap at the same time?

… if three men do manage to fall asleep at the same time… the dogs’ bladder’s reach maximum capacity at the point all six eyes shut?

… a four month old immediately regurgitates upon being dressed in a clean garment?

… a baby will wait until their diaper is off to poop?

… a perfectly made bed begs a four year old to jump in it?

… a recently cleaned pair of eyeglasses needs the adornment of little finger prints?

… when the coffee maker is clean and you have a full bag of beans, the milk instantly sours and the sugar is empty?

… I can’t stop this list?

… once you’ve cleaned your junk and spam email folders they instantly show a new item?

… that it’s always the favorite toy that disappears, and never the old crap?

… that when asked, a four year old’s response is always, “I don’t remember!”?

Any help in answering these questions would be greatly appreciated! I’ve seemed to have lost all sense of logic and reason in the past few years…

Study Shows... Men Need Naps!

2007-02-13T09:21:00.000-05:00

This morning I came across an article that says an afternoon nap can improve a man's health and help him live longer. Wooo Hooo! A documented scientific study! Wanting to do my part to ensure my family's health... mandatory napping will be instituted immediately. Who am I to question science?

Read article here: Study: On-the-job naps might help heart

Weird Houses

2007-02-13T08:55:00.000-05:00

In keeping with my current architecture theme, I was pleased to get an email from a friend that had some great examples of "weird" architecture. Enjoy!

A Memory...

2007-02-12T18:19:00.000-05:00

I have just finished watching last night’s edition of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For those of you who saw it you’ll understand the emotion it generated. Something this particular show does quite well. Hence, it’s continued good ratings.

As I was watching this program I recalled an event that changed my life…

In 1985, I was a sophomore at the New York Institute of Technology. I was studying for a degree in Architecture. I was 20 years old and living in off-campus housing. I was working on a 2^nd year design project and was in desperate need of some insight and motivation. Like an artist, I needed my muse.

It was 2:30 a.m. when I decided to take the train into the “City.” College kids never sleep! I wanted to walk around downtown Manhattan with my notebook and camera… something that might get you detained today… how sad! I needed to experience the beauty of the architecture; I needed to see how form, really did, follow function.

I had been to the “City” many times before but never alone and never that late at night.

After a twenty-five minute train ride I exited Pennsylvania Station and started my walk south -- downtown towards the financial district and my destination.

After a quick subway ride and a twenty minute walk I had arrived.

I sat down on a large concrete expanse and had my back up against the corner of my inspiration piece. I tilted my head back and looked up. The lights of the city danced on the shimmering steel that soared above my head. I stared up into the night sky, memorized by the beauty and simplicity of the man made structure that pierced the sky.

I stayed there for a few hours until the first rays of sun reflected off my new found friend. Still with my back to the corner I could hear and feel the giant structure awake. As the metal was warmed by the heat of the great star it groaned and pinged.

The mammoth building was coming alive for another day’s work.

People started to fill the concourse, purposeful in their steps; my time here was nearing an end. I packed up my notebook and camera, never having snapped a photo or written a line.

I turned and looked up at my muse and understood what I needed to do.

After returning to my apartment, I quickly finished my project. I presented it a few days later and defended it to my professors, as is the case in architectural studies. I don’t remember the grade I received but I do remember that I had changed. I no longer wanted to just design buildings; I wanted to build them with my own hands.

The night I spent in the city showed me that man made structures do indeed have souls... The souls of the men and women who build them and the souls of the people who work and live in them.

Upon graduating, I received an offer to apprentice at a prestigious north shore firm… I turned it down to work as a carpenter for a local builder on Fire Island. For two years, I built homes for families on a small sand bar… the work was heavy, hard, and hot. But, I learned what it meant to put your heart and soul into something.

My beautiful muse, who taught me that a building is more than steel and concrete is no more… she was built by men, and at 9:59 a.m. on September 11^th 2001, my college inspiration piece, also known as, number Two World Trade Center, the South Tower, collapsed… by the hand of men.

The structure may no longer exist but its soul lives on in each one of us.

Why Do We Live Here?

2007-02-12T08:26:00.000-05:00

Memes, Lists of 100 Things About Yourself, Thursday Thirteen are ways we bloggers find out about each other. While I don’t normally participate in these activities I do enjoy reading them. With that in mind I thought I would provide a small morsel of information about your’s truly. What makes Long Island Dad different? What’s one cool thing about him?

Today’s Long Island Dad Fact:

While I have traveled extensively around the country and the Caribbean, I have never, in 42 years, lived more than 19 miles away from where I was born! Even when I went to college and lived on campus at the New York Institute of Technology in Old Westbury, I was 19 miles away from my birthplace of Bay Shore, N.Y. Bay Shore is a medium size town located on Long Island’s south shore halfway between New York City and Montauk Point (Long Island’s easternmost point.) For the past 11 years I have lived in the same house located 13.47 miles from my birthplace. Weird/Cool, huh?

Some Facts About Long Island:

Why we stay… Why we want to leave… Why we continue to stay…

Long Island is 118 miles long and 18-20 miles wide at its widest point.

Population (All Four Counties; Queens, Brooklyn, Nassau, and Suffolk): 7,448,618

That’s 5,470 people per square mile!

Long Island is more populated than 97 countries of the world.

The population for just Nassau and Suffolk counties (the two counties that are actually considered Long Island, because Brooklyn and Queens are actually part of New York City): 2.7 million.

Nassau County is ranked fifth highest in income per capita in the entire country.

Median Long Island Home Price: In excess of $400,000

In 2001, the Washington-based Economic Policy Institute reported that Long Island had the highest cost of living/income index in the country.

The average property tax bill for an average size home is between $8,000 and $16,000 a year… that’s just the property tax, folks… no mortgage is included with those numbers.

The average electric bill for a standard 4 bedroom, 2 bath home is over $300 a month, without air conditioning or holiday lights.

If you combined all the fire and rescue vehicles; Long Island has more than New York City and Los Angeles COMBINED!
Listen up you westerners… The first cowboys were/still are Long Islander’s. The oldest working cattle ranch in the United States is right here on Long Island.

According to Forbes Magazine, the most expensive home in North America, is Three Ponds Estate in Bridgehampton, valued at $75 million... and only 28 miles from your host’s meager domain.

The first Trans-Atlantic flight, by Charles Lindbergh, originated on Long Island.

The first ever video game was invented here, at Brookhaven National Laboratory… only 3 miles from LID’s abode.

So why do we stay?

Highest cost of living, second highest property taxes, and traffic… oh, did I forget to mention the traffic. Remember those 5,470 people per square mile, well they all have to get to work to pay for all this. It’s not uncommon for my beautiful wife to spend 2 ½ - 3 hours commuting 45 miles.

Again, why do we stay?

While there has been a large exodus of younger families over the past few years, most of us continue to suck it up! We hand over our entire paychecks and then some just to survive… because we live in paradise! We do take it for granted some times. But when driving back from an out of state trip; or flying in from a far away destination… the first glimpse of Manhattan’s skyline reminds us why we stay.

The first summer day we get to spend on the beach… the smell of salt air and sand… our children attending some of the best schools in the world (remember those property taxes, they go somewhere), combined with the ability to have anything we want, 24 hours a day, within 30 minutes… as long as we’re willing to pay for it… is why!

All this on one income... we're either crazy or brainwashed... must be something in the air...

And, besides, I obviously can’t live more than 19 miles away from the place I was born…

Off To See "Honey!"

2007-02-11T18:17:00.000-05:00

This is an early edition of Monday Morning Quarterback. I had to write this installment as it was fresh in my head... you, my fellow bloggers will understand. I will regale you with the rest of this weekend's anecdotes tomorrow!

The Helper is gone! No, not forever… I didn’t sell him on eBay, folks! He was scooped up by Nannie on Sunday because we’re supposed to get snow in the middle of the week. What does one have to do with the other you ask? Nannie and the Helper need their weekly “fix.” They need to spend time with each other at least once every seven days or they start to show signs of mental deterioration. As you might recall, she had him last Wednesday into Thursday. But, if we got any sort of frozen precipitation where she would be unable to get the little guy, they’d both go out of their minds… not a pretty sight I can assure you!

Also, my father-in-law (my wife’s step-father, actually) is 98 years old. Yes, 98!
The more time my little guy can get with him the better. A note about my father-in-law; he’s 98 years old only on paper... he still has all his faculties, still very active, still does yard work, chops fire wood, cut his grass (although I helped him with that this fall, due to a short stay in the hospital), bundles the trash, takes walks up and down the block and “takes care of” my mother-in-law. He’s quite a man. One day, I’ll tell you his story. Suffice it to say, there are/have been/will be very, very few like him.

He and the Helper have a special relationship. My son does not see the advancement of his years. It’s his, “Honey.” Why “Honey?” Because when the boy first started to talk all he would ever hear my mother-in-law call her husband was “Honey.” Who are we to tell the little guy any different… it’s his “Honey!”

They play with each other, the Helper subjects him to stories of his latest adventures, then they sit and watch old westerns on TV. The difference of ninety-four years in age is never apparent. Grandfather to Grandson, man to man, they have a bond. My beautiful little Helper is named after me and his Grandfather. We thought it very appropriate to give him my father-in-law’s name as his middle name… now you know why the Helper is not a junior!

The Baby!

2007-02-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

As promised, here's this week's edition of Photo Friday featuring the Baby! Obviously, at only 4 months of age there are less pictures of him than the Helper. I've sifted through them and posted the nine I like the best... so far! Because there were only nine I decided to put them in the FilmLoop Player. Enjoy!

Stay At Home Father Survey

2007-02-09T08:02:00.000-05:00

I got this the other day and am just getting around to posting it... please check it out:

"My name is Dr. Aaron Rochlen and I am a Dad and an Associate Professor in Psychology at the University of Texas who specializes in research on men and masculinity. My research team is working on a study of Stay-at-Home Fathers. In particular, we are studying how men adjust to this new role and how it impacts their lives and relationships.

The study uses an online questionnaire that should take no longer than 15-20 minutes.

It really should be an interesting experience to complete the surveys - and it is definitely a much needed area of research!! The study has been approved by the IRB (Institutional Review Board) at UT."
SURVEY LINK: http://www.hostedsurvey.com/takesurvey.asp?c=SAHF

A New Look for an Old Kitchen

2007-02-08T10:37:00.000-05:00

Welcome to this week’s edition of Tool Box Thursday. This week I’m going to cover some options for upgrading your kitchen’s look, for the fraction of the cost of a full remodel. Also, this week I’ve included some great web resources that I use on a regular basis.

Introduction:

In today’s world, the Kitchen has become the most popular room in the house. It’s also the room that is most often remodeled and upgraded. A home’s value is often closely associated with the kitchen; its look, the appliances, floor coverings and overall “feel.”

Fully remodeling a kitchen is a large undertaking. The cost associated with a full kitchen remodel can be in the ten of thousands of dollars. But there are some options that will provide an entirely new look at a fraction of the cost.

Many DIY shows cover cost saving kitchen upgrades. Below I have put together some tried and true methods that not only change the feel and appearance of a kitchen, but actually add to a home’s value.

By making some relatively inexpensive cosmetic changes you can put your money into better appliance upgrades. Believe it or not the biggest portion of a kitchen remodeling budget is sucked up by the cabinets and the counter tops. Often the appliances are secondary. Stoves, refrigerators, sinks, faucets and dishwashers get used everyday. More attention and resources should go into these items rather than a $100 a square foot granite counter. That’s just my opinion. High quality, energy efficient appliances, not only make the kitchen fun and easy to use, they can save you money; whereas, new cabinets and counters only cost money. If they don’t happen to be the taste of a prospective buyer they haven’t added any value. New quality appliances only add value.

The suggestions below involve using your existing kitchen layout and cabinets. Customers often tell me they want to replace all the cabinets… perfectly good quality boxes. Often they don’t have the resources to change the layout (a very expensive option), they just crave a new look. Here are my suggestions:

Cabinets:

Older wood cabinets are actually better quality than many new “home center” bargain cabinets. But, often they appear dated, dark, and dingy. Most of you have heard or seen ads for cabinet re-facing companies. While this is definitely an option, with a little time and effort you can achieve similar results yourself.

Consider replacing the doors and drawer fronts, hinges and door hardware.

For a fraction of the cost of a new cabinet (and without the mess), doors can be changed very easily. I use two companies, Cabinet Door Shop and Cabinet Door Depot. They manufacture new doors to your specifications. They have many, many styles to choose from, and these are high quality doors.

By changing door styles you can also change a cabinet from a storage unit to a display unit by using glass doors. Adding some inexpensive low voltage lighting inside these cabinets makes the content pop! Having some glass shelves cut at a local glass supply place adds a touch of elegance.

I suggest refinishing or painting the actual cabinet boxes yourself. When painting a cabinet that’s been previously stained you’ll have to do some sanding to rough up the surface, then apply a high quality primer, before your finish coats. Make sure to fill any holes and scratches prior to applying the primer.

I use a company called Rockler for all my hinges, knobs, and pulls. They have everything you’ll need to change a cabinet’s hardware.

A note about painting the doors; I don’t recommend you do this yourself. The doors take a tremendous amount of abuse. While it may look easy on TV to prime and paint a cabinet door, I have found that over time the finish will start to show signs of wear relatively quickly. A kitchen is a very harsh environment; steam, moisture, constant opening and closing take its toll on a door. My suggestion is that you look in the yellow pages under “Spray Finishers” or “Spray Finishing.” You can take your doors to them and have a professional finish put on that will last a lifetime; sometimes this finish is better than automotive standards. They will match any color or stain you want and apply layers of clear sealant that will protect the doors.

Counter Tops:

While granite, solid surface, and natural stone counter tops are all the rage, I prefer a good old high pressure laminate. Why? High pressure laminate counter tops are still the least expensive choice, and with today’s color and finish choices they rival the look of materials costing much more. They’re durable, easy to clean and require no maintenance. Remember, all natural stone surfaces require sealing annually.

Laminate counters can be changed when you want a new look. If you invest $5000 in granite counter and you decide 5 years later you’re not happy with the look anymore, you will probably not be in a rush to swap out the counter. But a $600 counter that’s given you the same five years of service can be easily swapped out in a weekend… and you can do it yourself with some basic knowledge and tools.

“But prospective buyers want granite.”

People want the granite look; granite and natural stone counter tops convey a feeling of luxury. But they really are not practical. They require periodic maintenance and a large investment. I’ve actually installed a granite look laminate counter top in a $2 million home in the Hamptons, to rave reviews from the homeowner, Realtor, and prospective buyers.

Remember, styles and tastes change over time. That beautiful black slab of $10,000 granite may actually detract from a home’s value in the future.

Two top providers of high pressure laminate counter tops are Wilsonart® and Formica®.
Both companies often have sample chips at all the large home center chains. Also, a larger sample piece can be ordered. Something I would definitely suggest doing, once you’ve narrowed your choices down to two or three. These samples are usually 12”x12” and provide a better representation of the actual product. The samples a cost a few dollars but are worth it. Also, laminate counters can have many different options in edge detailing and back splashes.

“But, I really need granite for cooking and baking.”

I suggest that you use some granite or stone tiles in a section to create a workspace or accent area. A popular use of granite and stone tile is on an island or peninsular section. You get real granite or stone, at a fraction of the cost and you can do it yourself.

Flooring:

One of the best ways to improve a kitchen’s look and feel is by installing a new floor. I suggest either the popular laminate flooring products like Pergo® ,DuPont®, Wilsonart® or vinyl goods, whether tile or sheet goods. I do not recommend ceramic or stone tile on kitchen floors. They may look great but definitely have some disadvantages.

Ceramic and stone floors are very hard; hard to stand on, hard when something’s dropped on them and they’re cold. Unless you have radiant floor heating under them, these floors are extremely cold in the winter months. Also, these floors usually have “grout” joints. While these joints can be sealed to prevent staining, the sealant wears off over time and the joints become dirty and an eyesore.

I suggest installing floors that are seamless. Kitchen floors get wet. They get washed, mopped, spilled on, etc. The floor should not have any grooves, joints, or seams that could produce a failure in the future. The new laminate floors lock together to provide tight joints; sheet vinyl is seamless by its very nature. With a little instruction and some basic tools, laminate floors can be installed easily. These floors also have the advantage of either having foam backing or are installed over a thin foam sheet. This makes the floor extremely quiet and soft to walk on. Laminate floors are a great choice when under floor radiant heat is used. They’re very stable in nature and can withstand the changes in temperature quite well.

Some Final Thoughts and Links:

Create a budget with high end, good quality, energy saving appliances at the top of the list. Then decide what you can do to freshen up the look of the existing cabinets, counters and floors. You’ll always get your money back for the appliance investment, but not always for your choice in finishes.

With some hard work and creativity, a $5,000 investment can look like a $25,000 remodel. Trust me, I know, I’ve done it!

TIP:
The Kitchen Faucet should be one of your biggest investments in a kitchen.
It gets used more than any other item!

There are a million web sites out there offering tips and information for do-it-yourselfers. I’ve narrowed it down to some great comprehensive sites that offer “real” advice and instruction. I use these sites often.

For Plumbing Advice, Issues, and Problems:

http://masterplumber.net/

http://www.plbg.com/

For DIY Advice and Information:

http://www.doityourself.com/

http://www.handymanusa.com/

http://www.askthebuilder.com/

http://www.repairclinic.com/0001.asp

http://www.hammerzone.com/world/index.htm

Some Quick Notes...

2007-02-07T14:39:00.000-05:00

A new Stay-At-Home-Dad blog has just emerged. Our very own Working Gal’s hubby, Big Papa, has created Big Papa’s Place. If his first post is any indication of what’s to come, Mike and I will be getting a run for our money in the levity department. But then the Talker and the Helper could use the competition. Go check it out! This is one funny, funny Papa!

Our dear friend, Jessica, of Oh,The Joy’s, posted a beautiful letter to her grandfather today. If you’re up to it, go check it out! Our continued thoughts and prayers are with her during this difficult time.

The Helper has left for an overnight stay at Nannie’s. This time it wasn’t my idea. The Mommy needs the time to catch up on some of her household duties tomorrow – her first day off in a while. Besides, he’s already bounced off all of these walls. The change of scenery will do me him good! Hopefully, he’ll keep the cursing to a minimum.
Whew! Maybe I can wait until payday on Friday to pick up that new fish. Hey, every 29¢ counts folks!

Kids, Pets and Death!

2007-02-07T09:30:00.000-05:00

An old adage says, “When you buy life, you buy death, too.” Those of us with pets understand that they will not live forever. But, when the time comes, explaining it to your children it can be a difficult thing. One thing, I really try to convey to my children is a sense of compassion and charity for others, and all life matters… except for bees, wasps and moths, some spiders… well you get the idea!

At what age does a child learn that life has an end?

Nobody ever “dies” on Playhouse Disney.

You’ll remember, a few weekends ago, the Helper, his sister and I stopped off to buy some new fish. I had just re-set up our tank… clean and beautiful. It had sat for a week without any swimmers, letting the water and temperature adjust gradually. But then we were ready. To be honest, the Helper was getting a little antsy about not having any fish in the tank… sort of a “why bother” attitude. So we bought two big, beautiful, 29¢, goldfish. No more $6.99 tropical fish for me. The pressure of feeding the other six mouths is enough.

All was fine for a couple of weeks… then last night things started to head downhill. One of our new fish was dying. Not a big shock! I was surprised they had made it that long. Yes, I remembered to feed them. So here’s last night’s conversation on the passing of his new fish… my compassionate son:

“Daddy, the fish is tired, he’s laying on the bottom… I think he’s cryin’” [Compassion; Proud Dad]

“I know, Sweetie, he’s sick, I don’t think he’s going to be with us much longer.”

“You mean he’s gonna DIE!” [Shocked Daddy; Didn’t even know he knew that word.]

“Yeah, Honey… he’s probably going to die.” [Honest Dad]

“Okay… [Introspective 4 year old thinking] How do we get him out of there?”

“With a net, Honey.”

“Great, then we can go buy a new one! Tomorrow!”

So much for compassion for all living things. Hopefully, when the time comes for the pets of a furry nature to pass he’ll have a little more remorse. And, hopefully, that’s not for a very long time.

Now, my concern is, if I happen to get sick and lie around will he pester the Mommy to take him to the store to buy a new Daddy?

“Mommy… Daddy’s sick…He’s gonna die, can we go get a new one tomorrow?”

And when it started you thought this was going to be a serious discussion, didn’t you?

…Have you met the Helper?

Well, back to the "wars" folks, have a great day! I have to go scrounge up a quarter for a new fish!

I Can't Believe I Just Said That...

2007-02-06T15:58:00.001-05:00

The Helper has taken this helping Daddy clean a bit too far, I think...

Running around the house with his own dustbuster (you know - the battery operated toy ones - that actually work), the Helper was cleaning every nook and cranny. What a guy! Until...

"Christopher, STOP VACUUMING THE CAT!"

"Why? He likes it!"

"STOP - RIGHT NOW!"

"Oooookaaaaaaay."

Cat's fine, though he's hiding now... I may not see him until spring! The Helper continues to remove dust and dirt from the building. I think he was just thinking why wait until the cat's hair is on the pillows... I'll just suck it off his body... eliminate the middle man!

God, I Love This Kid... always thinking!

Tuesday's Truth - 2/6/2007 Part II

2007-02-06T13:52:00.000-05:00

Are you a Dad or a Daddy?

Dads say, “NO!”
Daddies say, “YES!”

Dads ask, “Why?”
Daddies say, “Why Not!”

Dads are stern and commanding.
Daddies cuddle on the couch.

Dads enforce the rules and hold you accountable for your actions.
Daddies know when to break the rules and wipe away tears.

Dads say “Walk,” “Don’t Run.”
Daddies encourage running and jumping.

Dads teach you the value of earning your own money.
Daddies wallet’s are always open.

Dads teach you how to be a responsible adult.
Daddies want to keep you a child forever.

Dads show you how to give a proper handshake.
Daddies show you how to hug.

Dads teach you manners and civility.
Daddies teach you how to have fun and be carefree.

Dads teach you how to drive.
Daddies teach you how to ride a bike.

Dads teach you how to fish.
Daddies take you fishing.

Dads tell you when to go to bed.
Daddies read you a story, hug, and kiss you goodnight.

Dads tell you not to break things.
Daddies can fix anything from toys, to hearts, to egos.

Dads explain what True Love is.
Daddies provide examples.

My Helper uses BOTH of these monikers when addressing me… I must be doing something right…

Today’s Lesson:

Dads teach us to handle whatever life throws at us;

Daddies stand next to us and help catch.

Tuesday's Truth - 2/6/2007

2007-02-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

Today’s Tuesday’s Truth is going to start off with some links and libations. A life’s lesson article will follow this afternoon… once it’s finished. With the Mommy working nights, I’ve been a little busy with the “little people.”

Also, some new additions here at LID include: Latest Parenting News & Home Improvement News. They can be found on the Right Hand Sidebar; provided by FreshContent.com. So far, some great stuff.

This Week’s Links:

Some Great Resource Sites for Dads:

Dad Center

Dad Stays Home

Steve, at Inside Fatherhood put up a great piece this week:

Are You A CPR Dad?

A New Online Magazine just for Father's:

The Father Life

A B5 Media Blog for Mother’s (a companion site to Steve’s, Inside Fatherhood):

Inside Motherhood

Angel, at Angel’s Cloud, put up her first installment of Monday’s Design Corner:

The Psychology of Color: Part 1 – “RED”

Angel, at Queen of Drama, posted and article that really makes you think:

What Does “Living Life” Really Mean?

My pick from Long Island Dad:

Important Dryer Safety

Finally, the last plug for my new site layout and look:

Thur Broeders Templates

Daddy Diary Tales: The Other One

Now for the Libations…

This came to me the other day via email, author unknown…

Being a man I found it hysterical! I’m sure they’ll be a lot of *head nodding* by my female readership…along with questions regarding registration forms...

SPRING CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, March 5, 2007

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Class2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Class 6
Loss of Identity --- Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Important Dryer Safety

2007-02-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

I received this email today. I thought it was important to pass along. Please remember that when exposed to heat, dryer sheets can become transparent. The dryer screen may appear clean when it really isn't. Please pull out your dryer lint screens and WASH them! It's the only way to know, for sure, that they're clean.

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYER

I had a wonderful morning, until the heating unit went out on my dryer! The guy that fixes things went in to the dryer pulled out the lint filter.

It was clean. We always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes.He told us that he wanted to show us something. He took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. Now, the lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like.

WELL......the hot water just sat on top of the mesh!!! It didn't go through it at all!!!

He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire - - - potentially burn your house down with it!

He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water using an old toothbrush ( or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!

How about that! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!

NOTE: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran thru a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it and the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddle of water at all!

That repairman knew what he was talking about!

Monday Morning Quarterback - 2/5/2007

2007-02-05T08:03:00.000-05:00

The Circle of Life

Last night, after all my site tweaking was done, and the children were in bed, and in between the raindrops of the Superbowl, I went “visiting”…

I found out our dear friend Jessica, from Oh, The Joys, posted a piece about her grandfather. He’s very ill, but according to Jessica, he’s comfortable. If you get a chance go “visit” Jess and take a look at the great picture she posted. My thoughts and prayers are with Jessica and her family.

I also read that our friend, Steve, from Inside Fatherhood, welcomed the arrival of his beautiful baby daughter yesterday morning, Meghan Alexis. Congratulations to Steve, his wife, and the rest of his brood… this makes five for him! Interesting note; Steve’s baby was born at home! For more information on at home births visit Steve's site... and ask him!

The Superbowl XLI

While I did watch most of Superbowl XLI on my big TV, as the only adult in the building last night, I was up and down a million times. That is, until the sweet relief of bedtime arrived. I used the halftime break to say good night and tuck in my little men, so I missed Prince’s performance. Oh, well… putting my guys to bed was more important than his Royal Purpleness.

Sorry, Drama Mama… to you and your family. There’s always next year. Congratulations to all you Indianapolis fans, enjoy it, because it won’t happen next year, you’re no New England Patriots… and I think our Big Green Machine will go all the way!

The Baby’s Four Month Check Up

On Saturday, the Mommy took the baby for his four month doctor’s visit. He gained another pound and another inch. Such a healthy, happy kid!

It seems though, at four months old, he’s not satisfied with his liquid diet anymore. The doctor recommended that he actually start some solid food. I know this isn’t usually begun until at least six months, but our little guy was up to 40 ounces of formula a day. He’s not chubby; he’s still in the 75^th percentile for weight, he’s just not satisfied. They grow up so fast!

Of course he got some shots (needed vaccinations) too… his least favorite thing in the world. Well, he actually doesn’t have much to compare it too, so it actually makes it worse. I did not go to the appointment with Mommy and the Baby. I stayed home with the other two. After the appointment, Mommy dropped the Baby home and went up to the store for some “solid” food, a.k.a baby cereal and fruits, and a prescription he needed. Both our sons suffer/suffered from bad cases of eczema on their heads. When he was a baby, The Helper’s went away immediately after using the prescription ointment. We’re hoping for the same with the Baby. It’s amazing how brother’s can be so similar… yet so different.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Forget Christmas, Forget Back to School… this is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Yes, that’s right, tax preparation season. Between January 31^st and April 15^th millions of us receive tax refunds, some of you have to pay… I’m sorry for that.

In Saturday’s mail was the last piece of financial documentation we needed to complete our tax returns. Whooo Hoooo! Savvy fans of Long Island Dad will put together the fact that we had a baby this year… in October… which means a bigger refund. Again, Whooo Hoooo!

Long Island Dad is a big fan of this tax preparation software. I’ve used it for years and it’s never let me down. It took me about an hour to prepare and e-file our returns… 10-14 days until our back account is flush again. Ah, direct deposit; a man’s best friend!

But then reality sets in and the bill folder gets opened… Alas, our wonderful financial windfall will be put to good use, supplying the much needed electricity and heat, as well as, food for the brood.

It’s still the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, though… when else does the government give you back cold hard cash?

Weather Update: Friggin' Cold... 10 Degrees upon awaking this morning! But... Sunny, if that's any consolation! It's NOT!

That’s it for this week’s edition of Monday Morning Quarterback. Thanks for visiting! Oh, and please comment on the new look… or anything else.

The Big Game... The Big TV!

2007-02-04T07:02:00.000-05:00

The Mommy is working this evening so there will be no big Superbowl party at Long Island Dad's house. Not such a big deal... seeing as our beloved JETS are not participating this year. While I'll still be watching this year's extravaganza, it's outcome really doesn't matter... to me. Of course, there's the National Anthem being sung by Long Island's own Billy Joel, and, then there are the commercials, and the all important Half-Time show.

This year though, my excitement is definitely at an all time high... why you ask? Because this year Long Island Dad has a big new TV -- A 42" SONY WEGA HDTV! After 42 years on this earth I have acquired one of man's greatest inventions... a large screen TV.

A note about High Definition TV (for those of you you haven't had the pleasure)... there's something to be said for being able to see droplets of sweat fly through the air after two large men collide.

No, LID's not a rich man... I have kids, remember? You see, my neighbors' were remodeling their home this fall and decided to replace their TV with a new Phillips Flat Screen. They offered me their existing 18 month old set for $900. A great price considering the TV was $2,500 just a year and a half ago. Well, at the time, I didn't have an extra $900 for such an extravagance... let's be serious, I never have an extra $900. But, I did have something they wanted... it seemed, "Mrs. Neighbor" wanted their living room, hallway, and kitchen painted. I offered to do it in exchange for the TV of my Dreams! Deal struck; everyone was ecstatic! I bought the paint and spent three days working off my barter. Everyone got what they wanted!

There's a lesson in here for the kids, too... sometimes an item is often more appreciated if you use your time and talents to acquire it, rather than just paying cash!

So I'll be watching, and as promised to Drama Mama, will be rooting for 'da Bears! Not really a stretch for me... you see the COLTS are an AFC team... our beloved JETS are an AFC team... get my drift? If we can't have it then no one can! Petty I know, but this is sports, folks... it brings out the inner child in all of us. Nothing sophisticated about grown men running after a small, weird shaped ball, just for the heck of it!

So if you need me after 6 p.m. tonight, you'll know where I'll be... my big comfy chair, feeding the baby, yelling, "Get out of the way!" at the Helper, just enjoying my Big Monster TV!

And Now... A New Look!

2007-02-04T05:13:00.000-05:00

With my new ability to change my header, I thought it might be time for a fresh look here at LID. I went on a search for 3-column templates that work with the new blogger. Lo and behold a great gentleman from the Netherlands, Thur Broeders, had been working very hard on just such a thing. The layout you see is fully customizable, from colors to fonts, to layout size. Between Jeff and Thur, LID is getting closer to the look and feel I want.

Please visit Jeff's and Thur's sites. They're both great.

A million thanks!

A New Header and a Thank You!

2007-02-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

Our friend, Jeff, from Daddy Diary Tales and Daddy Dairy Tales: The Other One, has done it again. Yesterday, he fixed Oh, The Joys comments... Thank God! What would a day be without commenting over at The Joys.

I'm sure her email server thanks Jeff too.

Anyway, Jeff had a great post recently that included a free tip. I was able to now create my own header, as you see above. I'm pretty adept at HTML but the "new" Blogger is killing me. With Jeff's help I can now start to have the layout I want. Look forward to many additional header banners in the future... I just luvs me a cool header!

Thanks again Jeff... you'da man!

Photo Friday - 2/2/2007

2007-02-02T05:59:00.000-05:00

This week's edition of Photo Friday focuses on a "younger" Helper.
Some oldies but goodies! Enjoy!

The Ultimate Fan!
Teach them young and they'll be fans for life.
Children don't get to decide what teams they like... that's our job!
No, it's not brainwashing... just good parenting!

Because he really is a 40 year old man trapped in a 2 year old body!

Our Little Rock Star!
Who gives a 2 1/2 year old a drum set?
A Godfather (Mommy's Brother) with a sense of humor, that's who!
Don't worry... he got his folks!

He parties like a Rock Star too!
Work hard, Play hard that's what I always say!

Prior to forming his band, the Helper enjoyed vacationing in Florida.
Here he is pool side... just chillin'
"Can someone get me a Pina Colada, please!" "Good help is so hard to find."

The Master and The Original Apprentice.
Helping (hence his namesake) Dad with an addition to the "Playscape."
Yes, he does have his own tool belt and tools... and knows how to use them.
[Proud Dad]

Just in case you missed this one from the other day!
Taken prior to the "peeing" incident.
Good thing he was wearing the shirt... I told you it would come in handy!

A late edition! Not to be outdone in the weather photo category... here's my entry.
This morning, 2/2/2007 at 7:00 a.m. No cocktails on the deck today...
unless a hot buttered rum counts.
The Mommy left at 6 a.m. for her 45 mile commute... haven't spoken with her yet,
but I'm sure she's not seeing the beauty in this morning's precipitation... just a hunch!

____________________________________________________________________

That's it for this week's edition of Photo Friday. Next week we'll focus on the Baby. For you very astute readers you'll notice a lack of Girl (12 year old sister) pictures on this blog.
She's 12 and in middle school, folks... the last thing she wants are her photo's published... to be used against her during lunch period!

Thanks for visiting, Enjoy!

Damn It!

2007-02-01T16:37:00.001-05:00

In true MAN fashion...

Last night I got a phone call from my wonderful MIL. You'll remember that the Helper was staying with her overnight. While trying to contain her laughter she recounted an event that took place while she was preparing dinner.

The Helper had informed Nannie that he needed to use the potty before dinner... so off he went. A few minutes later she hears,

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

She rushed to the bathroom to see what was causing his profane outbursts.

Upon arriving at the bathroom door, the Helper informed her,

"It didn't go in the hole, it sprayed everywhere, it ruined everything!"

She calmly explained that nothing was ruined... and decided it was probably not a good time to discuss his language.

Lessons to teach:

No cursing at Nannies...ever!
A tool in the hands of a novice can be a dangerous thing!
What happens in the bathroom... stays in the bathroom!

This parenting thing never, ever stops!

A Short Note of Thanks…

2007-02-01T09:03:00.000-05:00

Our friend, Angel, a.k.a. Drama Mama, nominated my post, Pens and Pocket Knives, for January’s Perfect Post Awards. I am humbled and honored by this (considering the company)… and as noted to the left I accept on behalf of all the men who have come before us, who have taught us right from wrong, who have shown us what it means to be a real gentleman, who have set the example and continue to influence us to this day.

Men learn how to be men from other men. We learn how to treat a woman by watching our fathers love our mothers, and our grandfathers take care of our grandmothers. We learn how to be gentleman from watching true gentle men. Father’s are not easily impressed by their sons, but they’re always proud of them. As men, we’re remembered by the character of the men we raise.

I hope you'll go over and check out the great posts from last month. And, again, thanks!

And thanks to Suburban Turmoil and Petroville for the recognition!

2007-02-01T07:18:00.000-05:00

Top 4 Do-It-Yourself Mistakes…and Tips!

By Christopher Frey
Stay-At-Home-Dad ~ Master to the Apprentice
Licensed General Contractor ~ Master Carpenter
Certified Home Inspector ~ Certified Kitchen Designer

"A Home Improvement Project That’s Done Wrong -- DECREASES a Property’s Value!"

Introduction:

With the increase in DIY channels offering 24 hour home improvement suggestions more and more people are tackling home repair and improvement projects. The rising cost of hiring expert professionals is also making more people turn to their local home improvement stores for a quick fix.

TV makes it look so easy, “I can do that!”

While this increased initiative should be applauded there are some drawbacks. I’ve outlined some “pitfalls” below.

Your home is your biggest investment it should be treated as such. Remember the old computer adage, “Garbage In, Garbage Out,” the same holds true for home improvements.

There is no substitute for knowledge, skill, and quality materials. Television and magazine segments are edited after many hours of production, to fit into condensed, bite size formats. These should be used only as guidelines and concept resources, not as a substitute for actual instruction.

To prove this point, the fastest growing professional contractor specialty is Homeowner Rescuers - Contractors who specialize in fixing DIYers mistakes.

1. TIME

“It won’t take that long, we can do it in a weekend!”

Here’s an inside secret; most contractors usually estimate the time a project will take based on their own skill level, the skill level of their workers and the availability of materials and then add another 50% and sometimes even 100% more. A project I think will take me two days, I’ll quote a week. If I’m done early, great, if not, I’ve left myself a cushion of time for the unforeseen. Yes, there’s always the unforeseen. It’s what causes most time and cost overruns. Also, the lack of planning and preparedness.

Time Rule #1:

However long you think it will take you to do something… double it! (Even if you’ve done it a million times before!)

Time Rule #2:

NEVER, EVER RUSH A PROJECT!

Not only does it lead to an unwanted result, injury and in some cases DEATH might occur!

2. BUDGET

“It cost us double what we thought it would!”

Another inside secret; contractors’ always add between 10-25% on material costs. This covers damages, waste, and fluctuations in prices from the original contract date.

Many building materials are considered commodities and are traded as such. Today’s price will not be the same price this summer.

When planning to build that deck this spring (with that big tax refund) price the lumber and materials now, but beware, when you go to purchase them the costs might go up as much as 50-100%.

Items to include in your calculations:

Materials
Tools Required
Protection Materials (i.e. Drop Clothes, Dust Masks, etc.),
Additional Outside Labor
REFUSE REMOVAL (Often a large budget item that’s overlooked.)
Any Building Permits Required

Always check with your carting company and local municipality to see what their bulk removal policies are. A lot of times you’ll find it’s easier to rent a dumpster for medium to large projects than cart stuff to the dump yourself. But beware; the cost of refuse removal is skyrocketing as landfills fill up.

Budget Rule #1:

Whatever you estimate your project to cost add 10-25%!
Budget Rule #2:

Plan for the unexpected and unforeseen… another 10-25%!

Remember, if you don’t spend it, it’s yours. But if you need it, it’s there!

3. TOOLS

“Honey, I’ll be right back I have to run to the store to get a tool we need!”

“It’s okay we’ll just use this instead.”

Yes, tools are my favorite things on earth… well besides my wife and children. In the twenty-five plus years I’ve been purchasing these wonders you’d think I’d have them all… you’d be wrong.

This is one area that causes increases in the two categories above. Not having the right tools for a particular job causes a poor result, and is also unsafe. Additionally, using the wrong tool increases a project’s time and ends up costing more in the long run. If there’s a tool you need for a particular project, but it’s a large ticket item, look into renting instead of buying.

For example, if you’re tiling your bathroom, a simple carbide wheel tile cutter and a pair of nippers will do the job, but a tile wet-saw will make the job go much faster and the result will be much better. Not all of us need a tile wet saw (well some of us did,) they’re expensive, big and bulky, but they rent for about $50 a day. Money well spent. And some rental places will even drop off and pick up.

Planning is a big piece of this section. Look at your project, look at everything involved, and then look at what it’ll take to complete it. Do you have the right tools, if not; can you get the right tools? Do you know how to use the right tools? If the answer to any one of these questions is NO, consider hiring this project out to a professional… who has the right tools and knows how to use them. It’ll save you in the long run.

Tool Rule #1:

Use the right tool for the job!

Screwdrivers are meant for screws, not for prying… that’s why they make pry bars!

Tool Rule #2:

You get what you pay for! Don’t cheap out on your tools!

Quality tools are an investment and will give you a lifetime of service. I’ve had some $30 paint brushes for more than 15 years… they’ve more than paid for themselves.

Tool Rule #3:

Read the instructions and safety warnings from cover to cover, before operating ANY tool. Never remove or disable any safety feature and always replace broken or missing parts.

It’s easier to order a new blade guard than it is to re-attach a finger!

4. PROJECT SCOPE

“We’re so overwhelmed… it’ll never get done!”

This is the case of “our eyes are bigger than our stomachs.” Just because you replaced a vanity and painted the bathroom does not mean you’re ready to rip out and remodel the kitchen. You’re painting the kitchen and suddenly decide the dining room doesn’t match… finish the kitchen first, 100%, before moving on!

One of the most common problems I have seen with DIY projects is things left undone. People get in way over their heads and don’t know how to finish. Or in some cases have run out of money or time; see #1 and #2. This is where those contractors, I discussed in the beginning, come in. They often charge a premium to finish started projects. But mostly, those projects will remain unfinished until more money and/or more time avails itself.

Project Scope Rule #1:

Stick to the plan! Once you’ve started a specific project; finish it before moving on to something else.

Project Scope Rule #2:

Seek professional advice. Ask questions! Plan, analyze, plan and plan some more before buying a single item or picking up a tool.

I know it’s tempting… you’re in the local home improvement store picking up trash bags and batteries and you see that great wood floor you’ve always wanted… and it’s on sale. Last week, on TV, you saw two people install it in two days. Its Friday night… you say, “Great! Let’s get it!”

Slow down, go home, and look at the scope of the project. Create a plan of attack. What has to be moved? Who’ll watch the kids? Do I have all the tools I need? What’s really involved in installation?

Some last words:

I advise all homeowners to stick with projects that involve finishes, (i.e. paint, wallpaper, flooring, counter tops, etc.) Never, ever do anything mechanical like electrical or plumbing unless you’re fully trained and confident in your abilities, and even then, have it checked by a professional when you’re done.

And…stay off your roofs!

The number one homeowner accident is falling off a ladder.

It’s always interesting to me that people scoff at the price a professional contractor charges for a particular task. Yet, no one questions paying a doctor $60-$100 for a fifteen minute office visit for a sniffle.

Another inside fact; professional contractors pay liability and worker’s compensation insurance that rivals the rates of malpractice coverage. When we do something wrong many people could be injured or die. The contractor’s inside “joke” is that a doctor can only kill one person at a time. If we build a deck wrong or wire an outlet improperly we put many lives at risk.

Please comment or email me with any questions… I’m at your service.

Thanks for reading.

Will Someone Please Stop The Voices?

2007-01-31T12:45:00.000-05:00

The Helper has left for his overnight stay at Nannie’s. I still have the Baby and much cleaning to tackle, but these voices in my head won’t stop!

“Daddy, can I have some more water?”

“Daddy, can I have some bread from the toaster?” [The Helper doesn’t call it ‘toast’]

“Daddy, c’mere, I have to show you somefin’”

“Daddy…”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaadyyyyyyyyyy…”

This usually only lasts an hour or so, but today it seems to be lingering a little longer. Every time I hear a noise I turn around expecting a three foot whirlwind, but nothing. Suffice it to say my nerves may be a little frayed.

I will now resort to the only known cure… vacuuming! The sweet sound of suction will put an end to my delirium… or so I hope!

Wednesday What Nots #1

2007-01-31T09:04:00.000-05:00

The New Theme Concept

Yes, that’s right, this is the last installment of LID’s new theme. Some astute readers have caught on that I like order, structure, and rigidity… in other words, a plan. I’m a builder… it’s an occupational hazard.

When I first started my blog, I read many, many others to see what was out there. I started mine with the intention of providing friends and family updates on my meager, dull daily existence. But, I was all over the place, from serious parenting issues to funny Helper stories. The five themes keep me on track and put things in their place. I like that! I need that!

Wednesday What Nots is a catch all category, from Helper updates to anything that strikes me at the moment. I will update throughout the day as things come up… they always do.

Thanks for all your positive support for the new theme concept. And, as always, thanks for reading. Remember tomorrow is Tool Box Thursday, no previews here, you’ll have to stay tuned… only because I’m still working on it… so much to post… so little time!

Helper Update

The Helper is leaving this morning for an overnight stay at Nannie’s. She hasn’t seen him in over a week and both of them are getting a little antsy. The Helper has also been bouncing off the walls… literally… remember the broken statue from the weekend? So, hopefully when he returns tomorrow he’ll be worn out… Nannie’s good for that!

The Baby and I will be alone today, which gives me a chance to CLEAN! Every time the Mommy has a day off I get behind on my daily duties. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just I like things neat, organized, clean… I’m a freak!

As breaking news happens I will update this post. I’m sure there will be some Helper related story in our immediate future… I can feel it in my bones.

Factoids:

Long Island Dad

Reality TV Junkie… all except for American Idol (though it’s growing on me) and the new Bravo TV shows. Love Hell’s Kitchen, The Apprentice, Survivor, Blow Out, Weekend Warriors… well most home improvement shows including the original… This Old House. I have every issue of This Old House Magazine.

The Helper

Only likes Coffee Ice Cream… Vanilla in a pinch but never Chocolate… it’s “dirty.”

Calmness is a state of mind, not a tangible, reachable goal!

Knowing the Helper as I do, I am sending him to Nannie's today wearing this shirt. I figure the subject of his energy level may come up... and this way his response is already out there for all to see. Yeah, I'm funny... and yes, my mother-in-law does have a sense of humor... she had five kids for goodness sake!

A Case of Doing Rather Than Saying...

Our friend, Angel, a.k.a. Drama Mama, posted yesterday that she is doing something about the terrible disease - Breast Cancer. *BIG CLAP HANDS* As you folks already know this is a subject that’s very important to Long Island Dad. I would have included this in yesterday’s link section, but alas, she posted after I was done for the day. Please check it out!

Tuesday's Truth

2007-01-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

What’s The Rush!

“… slow down and take a deep breath!”
-The Helper, 2006

In my 42 years of living in the vicinity of New York City I have become accustomed to the extremely fast pace of life in this area. It’s true, New Yorker’s want everything yesterday, but does that mean we have to sacrifice manners and common courtesy? What kind of example are we setting for our children?

Yesterday, I was making my daily run to our local supermarket (childless) to restock some provisions (chicken and carrot raviolis – the Helper’s main food staple.) I always try to use the self-service check out. I like this idea, I can check out at my own pace… quick! I can bag the items the way I want, so nothing gets crushed in transit.

While I was in the middle of scanning my eighteen piece order (no, I wasn’t on a twelve items or less line) a man gets on line behind me. Once I completed and paid for my order I walked to the end of the belt to bag my items, eighteen in all, should take about twenty seconds, right? Well, the man behind me steps up to the scanner and proceeds to start his order. Six two liter bottles of soda, start sliding their way down the belt and slam into my container of fresh baked rainbow cookies (a reward for, Mommy and Daddy, working so hard lately.)

Being a “rough and tough” New Yorker I needed to combat this blatant inconsideration with a stern response, “Excuse Me! A little patience, please, I’ll be done in a minute!” To which I received a “humph” and “snort,” …so much for civility at the supermarket.

It just seems that the life’s pace is ever increasing, for all of us. Whether by our own choice or external pressures, things are just moving way too fast.

I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am in no rush to sprint toward the finish line!

I will try to employ my four year old’s mantra stated above… he’s wise beyond his years.

And that’s The TRUTH!

This Week’s Links:

A selection of some great stuff that I’ve come across this week…

Our friend, Steve at Inside Fatherhood recently posted an article on: 10 Ways to Become a Better Parent This Week

Tino Buntic has started a great project. If you haven’t been there yet you must check it out:2000 Bloggers

Our friend, Jeff at Daddy Diary Tales has started another blog for TV and Technology: Daddy Diary Tales: The Other One

My local newspaper, Newsday, ran a story about kids being able to sleep over at a museum: Sleeping at the American Museum of Natural History

Long Island Families posted on article with some great tips for big broods: Big Broods – They’re Back!

Another Newsday piece on dreaming and its influence on our lives: Dream A Little Dream…Of Self Discovery

Our friend, Karly, at Wiping Up Snot wrote a great piece for a writing contest: I Am…

From NBC Nightly News’ “Making A Difference” Segment: Minnesota Teen Makes a Difference

And finally my favorite post of the week from Long Island Dad: Pens and Pocket Knives

Monday Morning Quarterback - 1/29/2007

2007-01-29T07:49:00.000-05:00

A Re-cap of This Weekend’s Trials and Tribulations…

The Helper has not mentioned his ear concerns since the initial crisis. Either I am a very effective parent with regard to building my child’s self esteem OR he has the attention span of a four year old...

The Mommy has been working nights since Friday. A difficult schedule for all involved. On Saturday, she left the house at 2:00 p.m. and returned home at 4:00 a.m. Sunday morning… only to have to go back to work at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday. The children tend to take this in stride until the Helper decides he’s had enough, and then demands he go to work with Mommy. Things will improve tomorrow when the Mommy has a day off...

In an effort to give Mommy some time to herself, I took the Girl and the Helper out on Saturday (the Baby stayed home with Mommy…hopefully for a nap.) We went to the cellular phone store so I could get cases for our new phones. Then off to a fast-food lunch. The Helper loves his French fries. On the way home we stopped at the Pet Store for two new fish. The Helper insisted on “Red” ones. Remember folks, “Lighting McQueen” is red. The Girl was fine with this as long as she got to name them…Skittles and Goldilocks… though the Helper has his own name for them…Red.

The only casualty of the weekend was a “Willow Tree” statue called “Tenderness.” It seems that the Helper was running in the living room… that’s odd he never, ever does THAT! Ha! The statue fell from the shelf and the heads broke off. When asked, the Helper threw his sister under the bus faster than he can eat a Reese’s peanut butter cup… and trust me, that’s fast!

“Christopher, what happened?”

“Emily broke Mommy’s statue, she’s gonna be sad, you have to buy her a new one!”

[Look of shock and disbelief on the Girl’s face.]

“I think Daddy can fix the statue, Christopher, we don’t have to buy a new one.”

“Good, ‘cause Mommy’s gonna be sad, because Emily broke it.”

“How did she break it?”

“She was runnin’”

[The Girl only runs on the soccer field… and only when she has to.]

The ability to scapegoat one's sibling is learned so early these days...

That's all for this week's edition of Monday Morning Quarterback… Stay tuned -- as breaking news happens I will interrupt your regular programming for updates.

Elephant Ears?

2007-01-28T08:31:00.000-05:00

Another reason being a Stay-At-Home-Parent ROCKS!

Job Duty # 56: Self-Esteem Builder.

Mama never told me there’d be days like this…

[The Helper runs into living room with hands over ears.]

“Daddy my ears are BIG!”

“What? No they’re not!”

“Yes they are…BIG like ELEPHANT’S!”

“Honey your ears are just FINE, they’re PERFECT, you’re PERFECT!”

“No, c’mon see, I’ll show you!”

[Leads the Daddy into his room, hops up on his bed, and looks in mirror, while pushing his ears forward with his hands.]

“See… BIG like ELEPHANT’S!”

“Honey, they’re perfect, you’re a very handsome boy, your ears are fine, Okay?”

“Okay.” [Not sounding too convinced]

A half hour later I go into his room, he’s laying on his bed holding two little story books against his head.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“ELEPHANT EARS!”

Okay, this is just a phase. It’s one of those things that will go away once we stop talking about it. When pre-school age children discover their appearance, all bets are off, though it’s better with boys than with girls, I’ve found! We’ll see what happens today. You can’t make this stuff up!

Perhaps, he saw the news report, yesterday, that Prince Charles is visiting the U.S.

Do you think the Prince had a similar conversation with the Queen when he was four?

"Oh, Mummy, my ears are big like elephants."

"Yes, Yes they are my son... but you'll be King one day."

THAT'S IT!... NO MORE CNN BEFORE BED!

Pens and Pocket Knives

2007-01-26T20:56:00.000-05:00

My mother’s father was a larger than life figure… a true man’s man. And, someone I have tried to emulate my entire life. The other day, when I posted Tool Box Thursday, I started thinking about my grandfather, who passed away more than a few years ago. He was my ultimate resource for all things tool related and beyond. He was a man who could fix anything; from a broken radio to a crushed dream.

He spent most of his life working for Grumman Aerospace, now called Northrop-Grumman. The company is a large defense contractor that for years was based right here on Long Island, and built many aircraft, including the F-14 Tomcat made famous by the movie Top Gun.

Like many men of his generation he didn’t attend college, instead a trade school. He served in the Marines during World War II, then had children and moved to the suburbs. He was electrical engineer who achieved the prestigious job title of Final Inspector. Nothing left the hanger without his stamp of approval. Literally, he had a small stamp with his initials that embossed all the electrical components of a particular aircraft. The pinnacle of his career was working on the first lunar module that would land on the moon. The old joke in our family has always been that he never made it to the moon but his initials did. There are still warplanes today, flying around, protecting us, with his initials in them.

As a little boy I always looked forward to going to his house, often I would stay over night and just tag along from project to project. My grandfather never sat still, always something to fix, tweak, improve, tear down and build again. I was the original Helper. Now you know where my little guy gets it from.

One memory, that came rushing back the other day while I was writing my post, was my grandfather's pen and pocket knife. He always had the same Parker stainless steel pen in his front left shirt pocket and a small, very sharp, pocket knife in his left rear pants pocket. It seemed that with these two items he could rebuild an engine or frame a house. To be honest, he probably could.

Men learn how to be men from other men. We learn how to treat a woman by watching our fathers love our mothers, and our grandfathers honor and care for our grandmothers. We learn how to be gentlemen from watching true gentle men. Father’s are not easily impressed by their sons, but they’re always proud of them. As men, we’re remembered by the character of the men we raise.

To this day, I have never left the house without my stainless Parker pen or my pocket knife in my left rear pant pocket.

I love you Grandpa… thanks for the tools… and the knowledge and ability to use them... I'll make you proud!

Does Handy Manny Read LID?

2007-01-26T15:05:00.000-05:00

While watching Playhouse Disney this morning (don't laugh! -- you know you do too!) they did a promo for tomorrow's new episode of Handy Manny. It seems the new episode is "The Case Of The Missing Socks."

Hmmmm... seems to me I recently posted a humorous anecdote about a missing sock.

Coincidence... I think NOT!

I know the Helper has a close personal relationship with Mr. Manny but I didn't know he was feeding him story ideas. I guess it's okay as long as he receives compensation.

I have to go to my mailbox now and see if there's a check from Disney... I'll let you know.
Nope... not yet, maybe tomorrow!

Photo Friday

2007-01-26T09:20:00.000-05:00

In an effort to keep a theme to Long Island Dad, I'm starting Photo Friday. A place where I sort through and post some new and old pictures for your viewing pleasure. The Helper certainly has his following and who am I to disappoint them?

My Little Gentleman!

A younger Helper taken at the beach on Fire Island.
The flags in the distance fly over the TWA Flight 800 memorial.

The Helper loves his trains!
This was taken this summer at the Long Island Railroad Museum.

One of Greg "Wiggles" last live performances. Taken this summer at the Nassau Coliseum. As I've mentioned before the children are so deprived... they never get to do anything cool...

Daddy and the Helper making a sand art creation at the annual Oysterfest Festival.
Again... he never gets to do anything fun...
Long Island definitely doesn't have a shortage of sand.

Nine Degrees !

2007-01-26T07:46:00.000-05:00

Remember the post I did about the weather? Well now I’m definitely eating my words… No… they’re actually being crammed down my throat. This morning my computer told me it was 9 degrees outside at 7 a.m. While this may not be a big deal for our Canadian friends it’s certainly a big deal here on our little island. Today we’re predicted to have wind chill temperatures between -10 and -15 degrees.

That’s COLD folks!

No going out with the kiddies today. I’ll keep you posted when the igloo gets finished. I have to go hitch up the sled dogs now and make a run for provisions.

Tool Box Thursday 1/25/2007

2007-01-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

Issue #1 - Multi-Tools & Silicone Lubricant

Multi-Tools (All In One Tools)

One of the most important, and popular, tools in my house is my All-In-One Tool, also called a Multi-Tool. Even though I have 400 square feet, in a separate building, dedicated to tool storage, and at last count, 57 different screwdrivers, this is the tool I use on a daily basis. A good multi-tool will contain: pliers, wire cutters, slotted and Phillips screwdrivers, cutting blades, awl, and a can/bottle opener.

The advantage of this ingenious invention is that you don’t have to search different places for all your basic hand tools. I actually have two of these wonders; I keep another one in the car, like a mini tool box it’s always ready to go. If only to open that damn plastic blister packaging that encases almost everything these days, or to clip the wire ties that attach every toy to it's box. Moms and Dads, this is a tool you should not ever be without!

Tip:

Do not purchase an inexpensive knock-off of the original designs. These cheap imitations can often be found, blister packed, hanging in the camping sections of local discount stores, priced between $10 and $20. You will not be happy with the quality, and these tools can actually be unsafe due to their poor construction. One thing to look for is a “lock-back” feature. This prevents the tool from closing when in use. Something that could be very dangerous when using the sharp blade fold out. The less expensive units, more often than not, do not have this feature. It’s another one of those “you get what you pay for” things.

Remember Tool Rule #1: A tool that's never used is sad and lonely... and a waste of money!

I’ve had my original tool for seven years now and use it on a daily basis. I paid $47 and it’s more than paid for itself.

The two manufacturers I recommend for Multi-Tools are GERBER and SCHRADE. I use the SCHRADE ST1, a great all around multi-tool. Though, Gerber has a much larger selection, and has tools designed for different purposes.

Silicone Lubricant

I would never discount the wonders of WD-40; I’m more a fan of Solder Seal Gunk’s Silicone Spray Lubricant. While WD-40 certainly has its place (to be used mainly with metal parts, though you can download the 2000 uses for WD-40 at its website) a Silicone Spray works with all types of materials. It’s especially good for rubber, plastic, and nylon parts, but can be used on metal as well.

One big advantage, that I have found, is silicone spray does not evaporate as fast as petroleum based sprays. This makes those annoying squeaks stop for longer periods. Also, petroleum based sprays tend to attract more dirt and dust, often causing bigger problems in the future. There’s also the issue of flammability. While both sprays are flammable, petroleum based sprays have a lower flash point making them a second choice when contact with heat is needed (i.e. used as a coolant for drill bits when drilling into metal.)

The next time you have a squeaky door hinge, noisy office chair or stubborn kitchen drawer slide try some silicone instead of the “blue” can stuff. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I’m sure of it.

Tip:

Avoid over spraying any kind of spray lubricant, most will stain fabrics, woods, and plastics. Also, use disposable paper towels for clean up. Cloth rags that have been soaked with a spray lubricant are a fire hazard.

Introducing Tool Box Thursday

2007-01-25T10:34:00.000-05:00

One of the greatest things about the blog-o-sphere is the constant exchange of ideas, advice, and tips and tricks. Today, our friend at Daddy Diary Tales is looking for content suggestions. (Update: Our friend, Jeff, has started a totally new and separate blog called Daddy Diary Tales - The Other One... check it out!) That got me thinking…[smell of wood burning]… I know, I know I should be using what brain power I have left to deal with the concerns of “the little people.”

But what if we all dedicated some space in our parenting/family/kid anecdote blogs to our “adult” talents?… you know what I mean. (Stop laughing Angel… and Joy’s!... and Wonder Mom.)

What about a weekly post dedicated to our areas of expertise outside the parenting domain?

This would give us all a chance to share our years of acquired knowledge on a particular topic, and provide us all with a “real-time” resource. We all need all the help we can get, right?

I’m not talking about providing anything that would require liability insurance coverage, just some tips. For example: product reviews, unsolicited advice, recipes, cleaning techniques, car care tips, home repair tips, computing and technology tips and links, interior design techniques, etc.

There are millions of “forums” offering advice on millions of problems, the problem with these forums is that you have to look through thousands of threads before you find the small morsel of information you need.

With this in mind, I am starting my own TOOL BOX THURSDAY’s, a place where I will provide a weekly offering of home improvement links, products, tips, tricks and energy saving advice.

I hope you’ll agree that this could be fun and informative. Also, it could take the pressure off the daily post conundrum.

Stay tuned for the first installment of Tool Box Thursday!

A One Track Mind?

2007-01-24T14:42:00.000-05:00

For a lifetime I have been designing and remodeling residential structures. After some time, I have even become pretty good at it. I am extremely proficient in all areas of home improvement and possess quite an arsenal of equipment dedicated to this purpose. I’ve mentioned this before… there’s nothing like a man and his tools.

Here’s the problem; the Helper, as previously posted (I forgot where and when, but I know I did), is looking for a remake of his little corner of the world. He would like his room to change colors… immediately!

It has gotten to the point that I seem to require multiple reminders on a daily basis.

“Dad, my room is boring, can you pleeeeease paint it?”

“I will buddy, this spring, as soon as it’s warmer out, okay?”

“Look! It sure is spring outside, look out the window, c’mere I show you!”

“Okay buddy, what color do you think would look good?” (A lame attempt to change focus.)

“Red… and Blue… and Green… oh, and Yellow… black, too!”

Hmmm… seems awfully similar to the CARS movie color scheme, me thinks!

Now, the apparent, 4 year old, deal closer...

“I’ll help you, Dad! I’m a good painter… like my pictures.”

Oh, boy -- there’s no way this will end well. He did help with his brother’s room, as I’ve mentioned, though he never actually touched anything he was a great motivational speaker… I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

You may be saying, just give in, paint the lil' guy's room. Yes, I’m sure that’s what you’re saying. I would, except for the fact that all his “stuff” must be removed and placed on the back porch. Something I will not do in 19 degree weather. I promise that as soon as the temperature is over 50 degrees on a daily basis I will start this monumental task (I've remodeled 300 year old mansions that have taken less effort). Until then, I will ward off my daily reminders with cunning re-direction and witty retorts.

The boy, on the other hand, will continue to review color swatches and watch Handy Manny completely overhaul the town’s merry-go-round, in fifteen minutes, with six hand tools… that talk, no less!

Case of the Missing Sock

2007-01-24T10:31:00.000-05:00

(Edited below after a content review by the Mommy... seems my recollection isn't what it used to be.)

While on the surface the story below may not seem that unusual, the visual of a 4 year limping 50 feet to avoid contact with my sterile floor coverings is in itself...

The other night the Helper limped into the living room and notified us that he was missing a sock. He was limping as to not touch the floor with his bare foot. Why? I don't know! Some questions are best left unanswered, folks!

"Can you help me find my sock, it's lost?" he asked globally.

"Where did you leave it honey?" the Mommy asked, barely containing her hysterics.

"I don't know, it looks like RED!" he provided, in a slightly panicked tone.

"Okay, I'll help you find it!" Mommy said in a reassuring tone, still suppressing a strong desire to inquire about the limping, though tears of her contained amusement were starting to show.

Daddy was trying very hard himself not to burst out in laughter... an action that could possibly create a mental scar for life... something we try to avoid, if at all possible.

Needless to say, the sock was found and donned by the boy. He returned to the living room in a normal gait to show off his recovered stocking. Another crisis avoided! His mental health intact!
Though, I will continue to keep crutch and cane manufacturers bookmarked for future emergencies... just in case.

Kids Are Quick!

2007-01-23T08:12:00.000-05:00

The following comes to us by way of the Helper's Godmother, a teacher, who can always be counted on for another installment of "Kid's Say The Darnedest Things." If you haven't seen this yet... it's hysterical!

Kids are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Alas, All Good Things Must End

2007-01-23T07:13:00.000-05:00

All good things must end. Our mini-vacation is coming to a close. The Mommy will be returning to work tomorrow for another eight day work marathon. Needless to say a good time was had by all. We are all fully rested and prepared to face our upcoming work stretch head on. There have been daily naps, good food and drink, movie watching and just some plain 'ole veggin' time.

The only casualty this weekend was the Mommy's pink Motorola RAZR Cell Phone. It went for a dip in a cup of coffee Saturday night. It seems that cell phones should avoid being immersed in liquid at all costs... who knew? Have no fears though, Mommy went on-line with our cellular carrier and ordered a replacement -- the new BlackBerry Pearl -- which should be here today. The Mommy will be able to send and receive her emails and browse the web from anywhere... Ah, the technology. A definite advantage with her busy schedule. I like when the Mommy gets a new phone, usually once a year, because the Daddy gets one too. That's right, Mommy ordered Daddy a new cell phone -- not the BlackBerry -- I don't need to be in that kind of contact -- but its a beautiful new device just for being me. (I was not the one who sent the RAZR in for a swim.)

Thanks for all the well wishes, folks. They were much appreciated. Some "Helper-ism" posts will be forthcoming, stay tuned. Thanks for visiting... the saga continues.

[Auto Response: Long Island Dad will Return]

2007-01-20T12:44:00.000-05:00

LONG ISLAND DAD Will Be Back

Dimples

2007-01-19T15:36:00.000-05:00

He wishes he had his brother's dimples...

The Countdown Begins

2007-01-19T09:03:00.000-05:00

Now that the holidays and the kid’s birthdays are done, it’s time for the parents. The Mommy and I were actually married in September but celebrate our anniversary in January (the month we actually started dating.) We always try to do something special, but because finances tend to be short after the preceding events (and tax returns haven’t come in yet) we usually settle for some time alone. That’s right, time alone. No don’t adjust your sets… I really did just say that!

This year Nannie will be taking the children from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. Yes, even the 3 month old little man. Hey, she had five kids she knows what to do, right? RIGHT! The Helper loves going to Nannies’ and the feeling is definitely mutual. Though, after an extended stay he will call us and tell us to come and get him. I believe it’s because he misses us but to be honest with myself I really think it’s more that he misses his “stuff.”

Now comes the decision on what to do with our freedom; Movie and dinner out? Movie and dinner in? Movie in, dinner out? Movie out, dinner in? Oh, the choices are endless. Can you tell I’m filled with glee! We’ve actually been invited to some friends (who don’t have any little people) on Saturday night. They’re good friends so we’re probably going; a good time will definitely be had by all. The Mommy is actually off until next Wednesday, so this is a mini-vacation for all of us.

I will start doing a little “jig” by 8 p.m. tonight – No, no video will be produced! Exclusive adult time is so important; it clears our minds and rejuvenates our souls. It also gives us time to reflect on our jobs as parents.

A time for some introspection without, “DAAAAADY!” being called out every three minutes.

A time to remember why people fall in love in the first place.

A time to reflect on our successes and failures.

A time to enjoy some good company, good conversation and…

A time to miss our children!

If It Were Only That Easy...

2007-01-18T16:04:00.000-05:00

[Baby making 3 month old vocalizations in the background]

"DAAAADDY, the baby needs a bottle, HE's CRYIN'!"

"He's not crying, Honey, he's talking."

"He's not talkin', he's cryin', put a bottle in his mouth and he'll be quiet!"

If I could only still do that with you...

Cell Phones...A Parent's Dilemma or Dream?

2007-01-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

Are the days of passing notes in the hall or during study hall gone?

Ever since the cell phone industry has started making their products extremely affordable, the issue concerning children and cell phones has grown. Schools are having problems balancing parental concerns and security issues. Some schools prohibit cell phone use (and actual possession) altogether. While some others just institute an “out of sight, out of mind policy.”

The issue is whether the use of these devices by children (anyone under 18 for the sake of this article), is for their convenience or ours? Even some of the most diligent parents who would never consider putting an internet enabled computer in their child’s room can be lulled into handing over a cell phone for their own piece of mind. While I certainly like the idea of being able to get in touch with my child at any time, what are the real advantages? And, what pitfalls should be avoided?

Disney Mobile (as well as some other companies) has introduced a cellular service that enables parents to track their child’s whereabouts by means of the Global Positioning System (GPS) and their home computer. Other phone manufacturers have started to design phones specifically for children. These phones contain certain parental controls that allow us the ability to prevent text-messaging, block web access or to dial only certain numbers. These features can definitely help us make the decision on whether or not to get our child a phone.

Besides the obvious element of distraction, cell phone use by children raises some other issues with educators and schools. A recent study found that 1 in 5 teenagers use the web to cheat. With most phones now having the ability to access web based functions the problem of cheating may increase. Especially, when parents (and teachers) may not be fully aware of a device’s capabilities. I would suggest every parent either receive complete detailed instructions from their dealer or read the phone’s instruction manual cover to cover before handing it over.

Another area that needs to be addressed when considering a cell phone for your child is cell phone etiquette. Are you a good example of cell phone etiquette to your children? Children need to learn what constitutes appropriate usage. There needs to be a clear set of rules in place before a child should ever receive this privilege. Also, parents should carefully review all bills and statements and question every unfamiliar number. I would suggest that a cell phone be treated like a loaned household item, not as the child’s personal property (even if they’re the ones who are paying for it). An item, which must be produced on demand, for review, or revocation.

Some Tips:

1. Regard cell phones as a privilege to be earned, and revoked as needed.

2. Research products and choose one that suits your and your child's needs and responsibility level.

3. Familiarize yourself with all the phone's features and operations.

4. Periodically check your child's phone for message content and for dialed and received calls.

5. Contact you child's school to find out their policy on phone use.

6. Review all cell phone bills for usage information.

7. Teach proper cell phone etiquette and set the example.

There’s certainly a lot to consider when making these decisions. We know our children best, we also know what’s best for them. We need to balance our own wants and needs with our child’s responsibility level. In an effort to provide a complete picture on this topic I’ve listed some great links below. Thanks for stopping by, any thoughts or comments?

Further Information On This Topic:

MSNBC Article: Cell Phones and Kids, Do They Mix?

Should We Ban Cell Phones In School? An NEA Article

Tracking Children Using GPS Cell Phones

The Sweet Smell Of Success

2007-01-17T13:14:00.000-05:00

LektricShave – The Grandfather’s Scent, a young boy dreams of the day his first whisker will sprout.

Old Spice – The Father’s Scent, a young boy beginning a lifetime of facial hair removal uses this for the first time.

Calvin Klein, Halston, Aramis – The dancing, dating and decadence of the eighties.

Polo, Geoffrey Beene, Perry Ellis – Jobs are now careers, leather portfolios replace spiral notebooks and business cards take over for numbers on napkins.

Eau de Isomil – A sweet fragrant aroma that wafts throughout the house. Estate planning and 401K’s interfere with wide-eyed dreams. A clean T-Shirt = Luxurious Apparel. Nothing says sexy more than the odor of soy based infant formula.

"Go To Your Room!"

2007-01-17T11:26:00.000-05:00

While I was correcting some rude behavior this morning the Helper responded with:

"Daddy, I'm going to my room now, DON'T FOLLOW ME!"

So much for using, "Go to your room!" as a future threat. Perhaps if there were no toys, no bed, no creature comforts... and no heat, it might return to the arsenal of behavior management tools.
He never ever slams his door though; the Mommy has made it quite clear, from the beginning, that if any child ever slammed a door to their room she would immediately instruct the Daddy to remove it... forever! A deterrent that has worked to this day. It is our belief that privacy under our roof is a privilege not a right!

I didn't follow, he returned five minutes later under his own power offering "an apology" for his previous behavior...

"Daddy, I'm not mad at you anymore!"

Why Is “Marriage” A Four Letter Word?

2007-01-17T09:37:00.000-05:00

(Updated Below)

The battle against the so-called “Traditional Family Values” is increasing. When did it become politically incorrect to have a Mother, Father, and Child family unit? Please don’t get me wrong, I am in no way saying that one situation is any better than another. I know some single mothers who do a better job at raising a family than some of their dual parent counterparts. I also know some gay parents who provide a more loving, caring and supportive environment than some hetero couples. My issue stems from the “attacks,” if you will, on us “traditional” families.

Recently the media has been quick to applaud the efforts of different types of family models, while casting a disparaging light on Mother, Father, Child scenarios. And, that ugly concept of “marriage,” should only be used by women looking for a man to take care of them. I don’t know about you, but my wife did not marry me so I could “take care” of her. Far from it, she is more than capable of surviving and thriving with or without me. Women today certainly do not need male caretakers. But that doesn’t mean that marriage should be cast in a dirty light. People get married as a natural progression of their relationships. Not because they need to be recognized by some legal entity or validated by a religious faith. People get married to show a commitment to each other; some do it before God, and some before a judge. By doing it, they say, “I have chosen you. I love you. I am committed to us,” the union itself creates exclusivity.

A recent news piece on a national network highlighted single women deciding to have children without the presence of fathers. These are individual and very personal decisions. To have them presented on a national stage in opposition to Mother-Father scenarios, is just wrong.

Another piece touted the fact that a majority of women, 51%, are unmarried. This figure includes that fact that women tend to live longer then men, therefore widows are becoming a larger portion of the population. But, the focus of the piece was on women who are staying single by choice. Waiting longer to marry, and pursuing careers as an alternative. Most of the women interviewed did not rule out marriage, just that their priorities were different. I do applaud this, as it may reduce the divorce rate in this country, and may continue to reduce the wage disparity between men and women. As the father of a daughter, I wouldn't mind her waiting a while to "find the right man (or women)" while she pursues personal goals. Same holds true for my sons as well. But to create the sense that marriage is somehow not a worthwhile accomplishment is disheartening.

A person’s individual choice is just that, their choice. It’s not something that automatically puts them at odds with other’s choices. Through biased reporting tactics the “media” is creating a divisiveness that I believe is utterly irresponsible.

I live in a country where men and women are dying everyday to protect the freedoms that I enjoy. The freedom to make choices for one’s self. The freedom to decide what values work for me. And, yes, even the freedom of speech, the one I take full advantage of here. But, the memory of our fallen brothers and sisters should not be marred by a country pent on creating division among it citizenry, whatever the issue. I’m married, I’m a stay-at-home-parent, my children were not born out of wedlock, if that puts me at odds with the New World Order, so be it. It’s just my humble opinion.

Update: For some additional commentary and discussion on this topic please see Inside Fatherhood's follow-up to this piece.

The Day That Changed My Life... Forever.

2007-01-16T09:22:00.000-05:00

Twelve years ago, today, a little girl changed my life.

Four years ago, today, a little boy changed it again.

If life is a compilation of events, for me, these two are in the top four. There are very few events that we recall with such clarity; the anticipation, the preparation, the uneasiness, the joy, the smells, the sights and the sounds. Like a video in HD these pictures are as sharp today as they were when they happened.

The Girl started middle school this year, sixth grade; changing classes, lockers, and new friends. And, BOYS aren’t disgusting anymore! *Sigh*

The Helper has honed so many skills; he is indeed my “little MAN.”

I have one more shot with the Baby, I cherish every second with him. Because I know, one day, GIRLS won’t have “cooties” and I’ll just become “my Old Man.”

There’s a brief moment in time that most father’s can relate too; it’s the time you first get to hold your child. For a lot of us, we get to hold our children even before the Mommies. They are usually otherwise occupied immediately after child birth. I was lucky enough to hold all my children for a fifteen to twenty minute period while Mommy was being tended to. I got to talk to them, hug them, and make them promises I’ve continued to keep.

My skills, or lack of, as a parent, will carry over from generation to generation. My children will rear their children based on the example I have set, and so on and so forth. I will continue to strive for “Wise Old Man” status and diminish the tendency toward “Babbling Fool.”

Happy Birthday my beautiful children!

May I continue to fill your days with happiness and joy, love and respect, knowledge and wisdom, and most of all Hope!

Brothers In Arms

2007-01-15T21:16:00.000-05:00

A Digital Water Color Image - Thanks to HP Photosmart Premier.

Things A Man Should Know...

2007-01-15T18:41:00.000-05:00

I have to give credit to our friend Steve at Inside Fatherhood for this one. It was so good I wanted to post it here too. Thanks to MSN Lifestyle: Men for this one, Things A Man Should Know: About Fatherhood. For the complete list CLICK HERE.

Heres a sample:

Don't worry, your dad didn't know what he was doing, either.
No, no--not that Spock!
Second thought, maybe you should worry.
Never tell anybody where your child was conceived, how long it took, or what song was playing.
Do not name your baby after cities, geographical points of interest, features of the solar system, seasons, plants, animals, or current television stars.
Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his mother, and, for the first year, you are only a curiosity.
For a couple of years after that, an amusement-park ride.
Then, a referee.
And finally, a bank.
If you want to subject your son to the unkindest cut, insist on a local anesthetic, since many pediatricians don't bother to use one.
The anesthetic is for the kid.
Reason boys are better: They cannot get pregnant.

Expletive Deleted

2007-01-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

While preparing for yesterday’s activities, I was the victim of a serious plot against my health and well being. After a shower, I was proceeding to our bedroom, rather quickly. On my way, I tried to move a door jamb with my foot. The house is over a hundred years old so I really can’t blame what happened next on anything but my own stupidity. Crack, snap, pop, [Expletive Deleted x6], yes, it’s broken. My little toe on my left foot lost its brief battle with the sturdy hundred year old building. This little piggy will not be going to market any time soon.

While this may sound extremely painful… it IS. The worst part -- it’s the 3^rd time in five years that I’ve broken this exact toe -- doing the exact same thing. You’d think I’d learn… you’d be wrong. So I was able to hobble through the Helper’s party without much incident. But, when it came time for the aforementioned dancing portion, needless to say I did not participate, for fear my screeching would be heard over the Rascal Flatts at 100 watts.

For the next week or so, every step I take will be a constant reminder to strictly enforce the “No Running In The House Rule,” and “Stupid Is, As Stupid Does.” Hopefully, I will learn this time… probably not. If anyone would like to start a pool for the next eighteen months, please feel free, I have a couple of dates I’d like to buy!

A Good Time Was Had By All

2007-01-15T09:38:00.001-05:00

The Helper wants to thank all of you for your birthday wishes! He had a great time, as predicted. We ate, ate and ate, again! One of the advantages of Mommy's career is that, occasionally, we benefit from her years of experience. Mommy is a fantastic chef... Chicken Francaise at a child's birthday, who knew? The Helper only eats about ten things so the meal was for us adults... he didn't care though -- presents were his fuel.

Helper-ism of the Day:
(Immediately prior to the big event's commencement.)

"Many, many, many (8-10 in all) people will be coming and we'll dance! We'll put on 'Life Is A Highway' and dance."

That boy really knows how to have a good time! Yes, there was dancing, but not by yours truly. His Godmother and our good friend Erica danced with the boy for an hour, after most of the guests departed. (Faithful readers will remember these are the two people who took him to see Santa at the mall -- such good friends.) One advantage of having your computer tied to your whole house entertainment system is being able to customize the musical mood. Though, my iTunes playcount for "Life Is A Highway" is now 65, the Helper has been asleep for 14 straight hours. The boy certainly knows how to party... and he didn't even have any of Mommy's exquisite Margarita's. Happy Birthday, Buddy!

For My Son...

2007-01-14T08:04:00.000-05:00

He’s Another Year Older
By Long Island Dad

He’s another year older,
He’s learned so much.

He’s another year older,
We celebrate in a bunch.

He’s another year older,
Time flies by.

He’s another year older,
I want to cry.

He’s another year older,
Still more ahead.

He’s another year older,
More fears to dread.

He’s another year older,
He’s brought so much Joy.

He’s another year older,
Thank God he’s my Boy!

A Party for Me?

2007-01-14T06:46:00.000-05:00

The "big day" has finally arrived. Food's been purchased, house has been cleaned and "Cars" party accessories will adorn the festivities.
My little baby boy is no longer little. He walks, he talks, he washes dishes, he carries on adult conversations. He's funny, he's cute, he's perfect and... he's another year older. Ah, Father Time sometimes you're a cruel, cruel man.
While is the bathroom last night, the Mommy decided to remind the Helper that his party was today...

"A party for MEEEEE?!? Don't forget to say surprise!," the Helper exclaimed.

It's not a surprise party, folks. Who could keep a surprise from a 4 year old, especially when he went along to shop for the party favors. It's just his way of showing appreciation for our efforts.

I Love Him So!

For those who are interested, I will post a brief synopsis of the big event, perhaps with a few pics., and any "Helper-isms" that might come up. It's still early and I have coffee to drink before some final "touch-ups." You know, kids and all.

Thanks for the visit, see you soon!

Ah, Can You Hear The Silence!

2007-01-12T14:56:00.000-05:00

The Mommy just left with the MIL and the Helper. She's dropping them off 28 miles away at MIL's house. My mother-in-law was here this morning because she needed to visit our auto mechanic, her's is not that good. Her car will be with him for a a few days so on the Mommy's way to work she needed to bring her home. When preparing to leave our house my wonderful MIL asked if it would be okay if the Helper came with her... TO STAY OVERNIGHT! They'll be back Sunday for the Helper's birthday celebration.

Those people left, the baby's napping, the dogs are napping... I should be napping.

Or, do I frolic around my big empty house like Tom Cruise in Risky Business?

No, I think my big comfy chair and some Discovery Channel will do just fine, really too tired to read.

It's the sounds of silence that are killing me. Simon and Garfunkel were right! I'm so ungrateful!

Update: It's just not in me to do my rendition of Bob Seger... he'll be so grateful! I have decided to "prep" the ranch for this weekend's festivities, and yes, that includes vacuuming all the ceiling fan blades. I know I'm weak, but it has to get done... BABY CRYIN' -- VACUUM WHIRRING -- DOGS GOIN" NUTS -- NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!!!

What Do You Do When….

2007-01-12T06:10:00.000-05:00

What do you do when your child makes a friend with whom you don’t approve?

I said in Some Clarification that all children aren’t created equal. What happens when your child develops a friendship with someone who brings out the worst in them? Children, whose parents, don’t share the same outlook, values, and discipline techniques as you. Tough question… I know… that’s why I’m throwing it out there, folks.

As parents, we run a fine line of protecting our children and letting them have experiences that shape and mold their personalities, and test their decision making abilities. We can’t shelter them from all experiences and “friends” that might not be positive influences. But there must be a line… somewhere. And, when they/us reach that line what’s our role?

Remember, we don’t pay for comment space so go nuts! I’ll re-sort and edit comments in a follow-up post to provide us all with some advice and tools on this subject.

Thanks for stopping by.

Some Clarification…

2007-01-12T05:44:00.000-05:00

In a follow-up to An Update…and Restaurant Manners, I think I need to clear up some “issues.” I wrote “reward GOOD service,” not “bad service.” Trust me, in no way am I advocating a reward for poor performance or quality. Dining out with someone who runs a multi-million dollar establishment has actually made me more critical when spending our hard earned dollars. My statement was based on people who receive, a high quality meal prepared to their specifications, in a timely fashion, served by an attentive and friendly staff… and leave their pocket change. It happens more often than you might think.

Additionally, I absolutely believe children should partake in the dining out experience, and I fully understand all children are not created equal. Thank God for this. Because of our situation my children eat out more than most, often at Mommy’s restaurant… Hey, it’s fun for them, I don’t have to cook (I usually don’t cook anyway, unless you count microwaving raviolis?), and it’s free (Mommy pays for us). I was talking about the parent’s who are not attentive to their children’s behavior… you know the ones… self absorbed, engaged in their conversations, on their cell phones, oblivious to their surroundings, while their children “run a muck,” disturbing every other diners meal. Babies cry, kids have high energy levels, that’s to be expected. As long as, I’m doing everything I can so my children don’t ruin someone else’s time, I’m doing my job.

Thanks for letting me clear that up… thanks for visiting and come again soon... the next post should create some excitement!

I Don't Yell Often But...

2007-01-11T17:22:00.000-05:00

I don't yell often. It's one of those items I save in the "parenting arsenal" and only break out when absolutely necessary. Without going into the gory details, suffice it to say -- crayons and a kitchen table (one I built and finished myself).

"Daddy, slow down, take a deeeeeep breath and stop yelling. I hear you!"

I did, I did and I did!

A Quick Tip

2007-01-11T08:46:00.000-05:00

As a quick follow-up to "Restaurant Manners" I want to pass along our tip for managing public behavior. We set up a "Restaurant Bag" with coloring/activity pages, learning activities and washable writing implements. This bag is also useful for Dr.'s visits and the like. Rotate the content of the bag so it's always a surprise for your child. Keep the bag in the car at all times... you never know when the urge for dinner out will hit.
Remember it is not the establishment's job to provide entertainment for our children. That's our job, we're the parents. While many do provide crayons and coloring sheets, these can just supplement your "bag." Temper tantrums, by adults or children, should not be thrown because a restaurant ran out of crayons, I've witnessed this way too often. Another benefit to setting up this activity bag is that you get to participate with your child while you're waiting. Flash cards are fun, some compact travel games are also fun and pass the time quickly.
Finally, Long Island Dad does not support the use of portable DVD players to entertain children in public. There's a time and a place for everything. I have no problem with them in my minivan, as I use it often. But, while dining with the family, a child should be fully engaged in the conversation and activity at hand. This is how they learn proper behavior. I've seen, all too often, when the DVD ends, a child screaming for more... while the "adult" conversation continues. Just my opinion. Thanks. Any thoughts, folks?

P.S. This concept works for us church goers too. Just replace the activities with those of a religious nature, based on your faith. It's not sacrilegious if a two year old doesn't listen to everything during a service, God knows they don't have a long attention span... He made them. I am an advocate for taking your child to service, rather them dropping them in the nursery, as long as your church supports this. Usually, it will, when they see how respectful and well behaved your child is. One of our biggest compliments is when people turn around and say, "I didn't even know you had the children with you."

An Update…and Restaurant Manners?

2007-01-11T07:28:00.000-05:00

As my loyal viewers know, the Mommy has been working a long stretch. We are now in our sixth consecutive day… only two more to go! The Mommy manages a restaurant ¼ of a mile away from the sixth largest mall in America, which means it’s incredibly busy, all the time. It also means she makes a good enough living to have me home with the little people.

But, this doesn’t come without a price… a hefty one at that. Between Tuesday and Wednesday, the Mommy was home for a total of 6 ½ hours. She left at 12:45 p.m. on Tuesday, got home at 2:30 a.m. Wednesday morning and went back to work at 9:00 a.m. until 7 p.m. last night. We don’t complain, this is the nature of her business, although extremely hard on her, and us, as well, this is our life. It’ll be worth it this weekend when we celebrate the Helper’s birthday… we’ll all be exhausted but we’ll definitely have fun!

One thing I’d like to talk about is “Restaurant Manners,” specifically pertaining to children… but we adults aren’t exempt from this either.

From the time my children could sit up on their own they have been instructed on how to behave in public. The Helper can sit at a table, eat his meal, drink his beverage, and carry on a conversation, all without screaming, carrying on, or running around disturbing other diners. His mother would actually kill him if he did such things, so it’s more of a self preservation thing than good behavior. Manners matter, especially in public. It’s a reflection of the parent’s effort and skill. When a child is rude and disruptive everyone suffers, and it’s not their fault, they’re children. Dining out is discretionary spending and, as such, should be an enjoyable experience for all. If a child can’t behave properly, in a public situation, then he/she shouldn’t be placed in that situation. Don’t set them up for failure.

One last note about concerning us adults; reward good service! The Mommy has been in this industry since she was 13 years old, that’s right 13. She has risen through the ranks from busser/server to manager/chef. It still amazes me how people can treat workers in the service industry so poorly. If they only knew what went into providing that meal in front of them… like a mother only getting to spend 15 minutes in a 60 hour period with her 3 month old baby. Thanks folks and remember to tip your servers on the way out!

Have a great day, as always, thanks for reading, come again soon.

You Asked For It... You Got It!

2007-01-10T12:20:00.000-05:00

As per your requests, here’s another chapter in The Daddy & His Helper…

After I fed the baby and put him down for his morning nap I slipped in a quick shower. As most of you can relate to, one must take advantage of these “breaks in the action.”

As a man with a #3 buzz cut, my showers don’t last very long and I always keep the door open to listen for breaking glass or the smell of smoke.

As he usually does, the Helper came to visit me during my morning ritual.

He updates me on his last 3 minutes of activity:

“Daddy, I need my crayons and paper, please!”

“One minute buddy, Daddy will be right out.”

“Okay.”

[He disappears and returns a couple minutes later.]

“Daddy, I’m sitting at the kitchen table fixing your WATCH!”

“What?!”

“I’m fixing your WATCH, it’s broken.”

“Okay, honey let Daddy finish, I’ll be right there!”

“’Kay!”

(Important Tidbit: My watch is great; a beautiful Timex Expedition with a digital compass. No… I don’t go hiking in the wilderness -- I don’t camp either. I have no need for the compass except it makes me happy and lets me know what direction I’m going… a man and his toys.)

After finishing up the task at hand, I proceeded to the kitchen to survey the damage. The watch’s display was showing characters resembling the Cyrillic alphabet. I don’t speak Russian so this is going to take a while.... Now where did I put that little tiny owner's manual.

“See Daddy, didn’t I do a great job? I fixed it for you?”

“You sure did buddy!”

Suffice it to say I will be running in circles for the rest of the day… “North! North! Where the Hell is North!”

Today’s Lessons:

1. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you!
2. Safeguard all personal property before leaving a room!
3. Order “Learn to speak Russian in 500 easy steps” from Amazon.com

For those of you who just can’t get enough Helper, check out this post “Laugh or Cry: A Top Ten List” – an oldie but a goody!

Hello, Is Anybody Out There?

2007-01-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

Through my friends at Daddy Diary Tales and Wiping Up Snot, I have discovered that it’s National De-lurking Week. Not to bore you with the details but, LID has had 65 different readers this week (I know, pathetic, this is no Oh, The Joys) and 32 comments. But, those comments were left by only 7 readers.

Please comment, they don’t have to be long winded diatribes, just a short, “Hey, How ya doin’, Great Post?” or “I hate you, I’ll never read this crap again!” will be just fine. Let me know what you’d like to see more of; perhaps my cute funny stories about the Helper, or maybe, my witty sarcastic takes on life, perhaps you would like more serious introspective commentary -- whatever it is please denote your preference in the comment sections. I promise to give them the attention they deserve… my door is always open. For those of you who won’t comment… move over and let someone else read there’s a line behind you! As always, thanks for reading, come again soon, your business is appreciated!

A Rose By Any Other Name...

2007-01-09T17:26:00.000-05:00

Important Background Information: The Helper and I share the same first name, though he’s not a junior. A gift from my wife; because if he was the only son we would ever have I wanted him to share my name… and she was heavily sedated at the time.

“Chris…Chris…”

“I’m not Chris, I’m Daddy, you’re Chris.”

“No I’m NOT, I’m Christopher!” *Hands on Hips* [Stamps one foot]

“You’re Chris, too.”

“No I’m NOT, I’m Christopher, you are Chris!” *Finger Point in Face* [Stamps both feet]

“Okay, you know I’m Christopher too, we have the same name.”

“No we don’t… you’re Daddy!”

Never saw it comin’ folks.

You know your old and feeble when you verbally spar with your 4 year old and he kicks your butt!

On The Lighter Side... They're Never Too Young

2007-01-09T15:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, it took a little longer than 3 or 4 minutes, but it happened as I predicted. Let me first start by saying, this was ALL his idea. I know what you’re thinking, but he really did want to do the dishes…vacuum… clean the bathroom… feed the dogs… and get Daddy a cold beverage…

The Helper (and now you know why he’s called this) decided he wanted to do the dishes, here are the details:

I had been standing at the sink starting this task, one I perform numerous times throughout the day. Yes, we do have a dishwasher (pictured just to the right of the Helper), and, as a matter of fact, I just installed a brand new one, but I digress.

The Helper comes up to me and says he wants some milk and some water. The only two beverages he drinks – no juice for him, he’s never liked it.

I say, “Sure, go get me your cups and I’ll wash them out and give you more.” He leaves, on his quest to find where he left his beverage containers.

He returns with cups in hand and tells, not asks, me that he will wash them out.

WOW! I thought, what an opportunity. I get a step stool and set him up with a sponge. I provide some instruction on proper technique and stand back.

To my delight, my Helper really did wash his cups out, and, Mommy's new Starbucks travel mug (pictured to the right of my little buddy). *Smile* [Proud Parent]

“Daddy, out of my way please, I’m cleaning up!” *Chuckle* [Very Proud Parent]

Not only does he get his own yogurt from the fridge, he opens it, retrieves a spoon from the drawer, throws out his garbage, but now, can wash his own dishes.

No child labor laws being broken here! These are chores people! Remember, chores build character. Chores teach discipline. Chores help with Daddy’s sanity.

Now, if I could only get him to put all his Thomas the Tank trains away, on the shelves, in the proper order, we’d be all set… Hmmm…[wood burning]…but then I might be out of a job and I’d have to go back to “work” in the “real” world…

“I’ll be right there buddy, don’t touch those trains, Daddy will do it!”

On A Serious Note... Please Read

2007-01-09T11:42:00.000-05:00

The “virtual” friends we meet by blogging are, as good, if not, better than some of our flesh and blood ones. Recently, I have read two posts that couldn’t be more powerful, more real, or more honest. My friend at, Dancing Through, has put up two pieces that definitely trigger all sorts of emotional responses. My post today is a tribute to her pure sharing, and to my wife, and to all those who have been, are, and will be affected by Breast Cancer.

While my wife may not be happy with this “tribute,” as she’s a very private person, I need to tell you how one person makes a difference. Hopefully, it will inspire you. I recently put up a post where I talked about teaching charity and compassion to our children; I said children learn from our actions and follow our lead; my children couldn’t have a better role model than their mother…

Here’s why:

For the past three years my wife has been participating in the Long Island 2 Day Walk for Breast Cancer. 100% of the proceeds from this Walk stay right here on the Island. All the administrative costs for the Walk are picked up by the corporate sponsors. Long Island has the highest incident rate of breast cancer, compared to anywhere in the country… an ugly price to pay for living in paradise.

The Walk is a 2 day, grueling, 35 mile trek through eastern Long Island. In the three years since its inception the Walk has raised over a million dollars.

My wife walked this past summer, as she has done for the previous two years. Only this year she was almost 6 months pregnant with our second son, she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and a predisposition for Preeclampsia. A condition she had with our first son, a.k.a. the Helper. That pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section, and our little baby boy spending over a week in the NICU, (feeding tubes and IVs). On top of that, we were told our beautiful baby was deaf and retarded, (my faithful readers know he’s neither, thanks to God’s answer to all our friends prayers). Editor's Note: She had been fully cleared by her doctors to participate.

Despite all this she walked. She fights this disease. She fights for her mother; a two time survivor. She fights for her mother’s sister; a beautiful woman who lost her battle. She fights for herself; someone highly predisposed. She fights for YOU, for me, for her children, and for all those who can no longer fight.

She does this for personal reasons, not for any glory or accolades. She never talks about it; it’s not in her nature. And, like I said, she won’t be happy with me for this post. My beautiful, strong, courageous wife is of Irish decent, 100%, and a Taurus (Yeah, I know… but I knew it going in). Her determination, commitment, and dare I say, stubbornness is what makes her a successful warrior in this battle for a cure. She has raised thousands of dollars with her steps.

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”
-Sir Winston Chuchill

Thanks for indulging me today. Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring. Thanks Dancing Through for your inspiration and your story. And, thanks to all of you who fight breast cancer everyday, you are indeed warriors with a noble cause. Finally, thanks to my wife, just for being who you are and doing what you do, I Love You!

Note: If you’re inspired to make a donation to Mary’s effort please CLICK HERE and mark the donation WALK. She will once again be walking this summer, June 9^th and 10^th, 2007… another 35 miles closer to a cure.

I promise a return to my anecdotal tales, musings, and rants as soon as something funny or annoying happens… should be in 3 or 4 minutes… stayed tuned.

Age Is Just A Number...

2007-01-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

Next Tuesday is the Helper’s birthday; he’ll be four. This coming weekend we’re having the perfunctory adult party to celebrate his years. Mommy took off the entire weekend – that’s why we’re in an eight day work jag. In preparation for the party, we’re making sure he knows the answer to the question, “How old are you?” Recently, the Mommy has been quizzing him on some basic facts. We seem to be having a problem distinguishing major holidays. We’ve never been the type of parents that make the children perform “monkey tricks” for the pleasure of adults. Of course he knows his name – that’s a safety thing, but we’ve never been really good with the age thing. Here’s a little excerpt of Mommy’s recent practice session:

Mommy: “Christopher, did you know your birthday’s coming up?”
Helper: “I saw Santa, twice!”

Mommy: “How old are you going to be?”
Helper: “Tigger!” (his Halloween persona)

Mommy: “Honey, when’s your birthday?”
Helper: “Breakdown Trains!” (Thomas the Tank toy he wants)

After some tutoring and extra help…

Mommy: “How old are you going to be?”
Helper: [Holding up the appropriate fingers] “Three, Two, I don’t know… you tell me, what’s the first word?”

Note: The child can count to twenty, forwards and backwards, and knows his entire alphabet, but seems to be hung up on this birthday / age thing. We’ll keep on it, he’ll be ready to go by Sunday -- “I’m Christopher and I’m four years old… now can I please have my present?”

Signs of a Loving Marriage

2007-01-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

I stumbled into the kitchen this morning all prepared to clean and fill our new coffee pot, as part of my regular morning routine. “If Daddy ain’t happy then nobody’s happy!” I’ve mentioned before that we received this wonderful java maker from my in-laws for Christmas. It’s only draw back is that it takes a long time to clean and set up… quite a few parts to wash and dry. But, I ~~need~~ would like my coffee so over to the machine I went. Low and behold, not only was the machine cleaned, it was refilled and had been programmed to go off before I got up. A full pot of the sweet nectar had already been brewed; fresh and piping hot.

Now I know it couldn’t have been the Helper – he’s talented, but can’t reach the counter yet. So it must’ve been the Mommy. A sweet, beautiful, Goddess on her third day of an eight day work stint. And, have I mentioned, she’s been getting home between 2 and 3 a.m. each night!

I don’t know how people go through life alone… without a Ying to your Yang. Keep all your cards, gifts and terms of endearment – actions speak louder than words! Simple acts of thoughtfulness are what make a marriage work. I’m glad she’s the co-captain on our team. I would not be who I am without her and her support, love, and kindness. Thanks honey – I need to go get another cup before the little people rise.

The Power of a Baby's Smile

2007-01-07T23:22:00.000-05:00

Nothing affects me more than a smile on my child’s face.

My child’s smile can brighten my mood in an instant.

My child’s smile can change my world.

Taking the time to share a happy moment with them is one of my life’s most cherished pleasures.

It’s why I do what I do.

It validates my purpose and dissolves all my doubts and fears.

My little 3 month old baby boy isn’t stingy with his smiles. He throws them my way every chance he gets; it often stops me dead in my tracks. Nothing is better than that smile; that pure happy grin. If I could, I would spend all day just holding him so he could look into my eyes and warm my soul.

Thank you my sweet little boy, I love you. I’ll do my best to make sure all your days are filled with smiles.

Oh Well...

2007-01-07T16:18:00.000-05:00

Both boys are napping... as I probably should be. Alas, I'm to worn out to move and my beloved JETS sweatshirt is soaked in tears of disappointment. Not to be a sore loser -- I congratulate all you New England fans -- revel in your success you deserve it. I will now go launder all of my, and the kids, JETS apparel and seal it away for next season. Maybe I'll just wait for Mommy to do it... I'm too depressed for housework.

Buck up my fellow NYers spring training is only 3 short months away. Our Yankees will be champions once more... see you in Tampa!

Finally, to all my GIANT friends, yes that means you Bill, may your defeat be quick and painless, may you not suffer the humiliation that is 37-16, and may your tears and sobs bring you comfort and solace.

My friend Bud Weiser has come to comfort me in my time of need.
[Crack] Sissssssss *Slurp* [Sob] *Chug* [Sob] [Sniffle] *Sip*
... Damn Patriots... Sons of Bit*hes!

At least, This Old House and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition are new episodes tonight.

Closing The Loop

2007-01-07T09:05:00.000-05:00

Our friend at DaddyDiaryTales has reminded us bloggers to "close the loop" on previous posts, lest we run the risk of leaving our readers hanging. So here's my loop closer:
The car parts did arrive, and after a little time out in the shop I have repaired Mommy's vehicle. While I still need to compound and clear coat the paint job, the repair's lookin' good. Unfortunately, I have no before photos...too painful! But, suffice it to say, the front fender and front corner light are brand new. You may see a slight color difference. And let's remember folks, all for $200 ($300 less than our deductible) and no insurance premium increase. Handy Manny's got nothing on me! I used all OEM (Original Equipment Manufacturer) parts so I won't have a problem when trading it in.

My thanks to my suppliers (credit where credit is due):

Paint World
(Perfectly Matched Paint.)
US Auto Parts
(Perfectly Fitted Parts, OEM Quality...no misaligned bolt holes here.)

JETS, JETS, JETS...GO JETS!

2007-01-07T08:14:00.000-05:00

When the football season first started, JETS fans would've been happy with an 8-8 season, maybe 9-7 at best. Playoffs? Not in our wildest dreams. But here we are, ready to show our stuff to those New England ~~pansies~~ ex-Champions. Thanks Coach Mangini, Mr. Pennington, Mr. Coles, et al. While I know there's a slight chance I might be eating these words later today, here's my prediction -- JETS by 7 1/2. Take that you fanatical Patriot lovers! (I can be this bold, as I know I don't have any New England readers...yet! Uh Oh!)

I Just Remembered This One...

2007-01-07T07:53:00.000-05:00

With all the talk about the weather I started thinking back to the great summer we had as a family. The Helper's summer was jam packed with fun activities including, a weekend trip to Connecticut to enjoy "A Day Out With Thomas The Tank Engine," yeah, he lost his little mind. He also got to see "The Wiggles" perform live at the Nassau Coliseum; one of Greg's last performances.

We also went to the Intrepid Air and Sea Museum on Manhattan's west side. This picture was taken on the flight deck of the USS Intrepid, 2 1/2 months before it was moved to Bayonne, N.J. for a 2 year overhaul. You might have heard about that in the news; along with the problems they had moving her. We plan to return once the ship is back in its NY home.

I hear cooler weather is in store for us this week, so much for my dreams of summer... Ah, the memories.

Scenes of Spring?

2007-01-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

As a follow-up to "Not To Sound Ungrateful But..." I wanted to post some pictures of the Helper and the Girl (the Helper's Big Sister). Outside fun makes for long, long naps, and it's good exercise too, right?
Interesting Side Note: The Helper and his Sister share the same birthday - January 16th - eleven years apart. Cool, huh?

The Girl is teaching him how to swing. Saves me from having to push him all the time. She's such a good girl. The Helper is playing with his new remote control truck. A Christmas gift from our friend "Bem" a.k.a. Jenn. It's rated for 8 and over so, of course, he has to use it with adult supervision, though, he only lets me play for a minute or so. The poor girl tried to find some refuge to read her book...silly, silly, girl. What was she thinking? I'll have to show her some of my hiding spots, that boy has the instincts of a bloodhound.

Yes, I sat on the porch and told him to chase the car around while I drove. Am I brilliant, or what? He did it and thought it was a blast...who cares if Sister and I had ulterior motives, hee hee ;)

Not wanting to leave anyone out -- the Baby napped while all the outside frolicking took place. He's resting up... big day tomorrow as our JETS will be kickin' some PATRIOT butt!

Update: Baby still napping, the Helper has passed out in his room and the Girl has left for a sleepover at friends... ah, the sounds of silence. I guess my little plan worked.

Not To Sound Ungrateful But...

2007-01-06T14:54:00.000-05:00

It’s 77 degrees in my house, all my doors and windows are open, I live on Long Island and it’s January 6^th. My thermometer on my deck says 68 degrees and I hear it might be going to 70 in Central Park today. The front page of our local paper said that the cherry blossom trees in the Brooklyn Botanical Garden are blooming. What’s the deal? I’m sweatin’ my ass off here!

I don’t want to sound ungrateful because this is saving me a fortune on heating bills. Though, as you’ve read my, neighbor just filled my oil tank. I repaid her this week by putting up a shed which the Helper took credit for, obviously.

I’m positive once my blood thins out; it’ll drop below freezing…this is some sort of sick joke. I like the change of seasons. If I wanted 70 degree temperatures in January I’d move south of Jersey.

I have to go now and break out some shorts and t-shirts. I have to say though; this is definitely helping with the kid patrol. No kooked up cabin fever here! Anyone need a used snow shovel…cheap?

The Measure of Success

2007-01-05T17:19:00.000-05:00

One day down, seven to go!
The Mommy is on her way home.
Children have been fed and napped.
Coloring took place.
Fort building with blankets was a highlight. (Daddy has some great clamps from the shop.)
House is clean.
Car Parts have arrived.
There was no blood, no screaming, only a small amount of whining and crying. (Big mean Daddy said no to more Reese's Peanut Butter cups.)
I only had coffee and ginger ale to drink... all in all, a very successful Friday.

Today's TODAY Show

2007-01-05T13:00:00.000-05:00

I know I should just let these things roll off my back…but I can’t, must be a character flaw. On this morning’s TODAY Show on NBC, Al Roker did a segment on becoming better parents in 2007. While the content of the segment was informative in a gender neutral way, I have an issue with the opening video. The story was introduced by running a series of candid interview videos with parents. Eleven out of twelve of these videos interviewed a Mom only – the only video that had a Dad in it said, “He hoped he’d get a chance to spend more time with his family this year.” He was sitting at a table three feet away from his daughter. All the Moms were either holding their children or touching them in some way. While I know I’m probably overly sensitive about this subject – I’m not paranoid…am I? Just goes to show that Parents=Moms according to the unbiased, well-informed American media. Hey, I’m raising two boys here and in 2007 the media still tells us that “Leave It To Beaver” is the "model family" goal. Any thoughts folks?

See for yourself. Watch the video HERE!

Eight Days and Counting

2007-01-05T06:56:00.000-05:00

The Mommy started an eight day stretch of work today, and it’s going to rain. Her next day off (and my next day off) is a week from Saturday. I’m prepared though – new coffee maker and bags of beans – just can’t run out of milk!

I’ve put on my cruise director’s hat…Hmmm… I wonder what Julie McCoy would do with three kids, a rainy weekend, and no car? I’ll get creative; taking down holiday decorations seems like good ‘ole family fun.. Though, I was wondering, is it really that bad to wash down Xanex with beer? If my posts suddenly cease would someone please send help!

Ah, This Is The Life...

2007-01-04T21:51:00.000-05:00

It’s been unseasonably warm here in the Northeast and I took advantage of that today. I spent the morning on pet poop patrol. I can think of no better way to spend a beautiful Thursday morning. Mommy was home today so I set out early to clean the backyard and empty the litter box. Armed with black plastic bags, rakes, gloves and a pitch fork I was merrily on my way. Could my job as a full-time dad get any better…I think not! The Helper stood on the deck and provided “direction” as I policed the back yard; this is one of those tasks he doesn’t “help” with – I don’t see why not. When he gets older though, boy won’t he be surprised at his chore list. Hey, chores build character, right? Between diapers, litter boxes and dogs I’m up to my neck in…character!

When all was said and done I felt a great sense of accomplishment. The dogs and cat were happy with me too. Though I’m thinking about not feeding them anymore – screw the ASPCA! I wouldn’t have to do this in prison!

Baggage Claim - The Great Class Equalizer

2007-01-03T14:49:00.000-05:00

This is one of those posts that has more to do with humanity than parenting or my kid’s funny anecdotes. Please indulge this diversion for a moment. For those of you who’ve never had the experience of picking someone up from a New York airport at midnight, this is for you…

It’s midnight at New York’s LaGuardia Airport in Flushing, Queens. I’m here to pick up my friend coming in from Palm Springs, by way of Dallas. Her flight has been delayed from 12:10 a.m. to 12:41 a.m. Not bad when you consider an hour delay at LaGuardia is the norm. I’ve been to this airport many times and know my way around quite well. Although, I was a little concerned when it took me forty minutes to get into the airport due to some traffic back-up. But I have left plenty of time and it is not a problem. I find the gate where my friend will be arriving and check the monitor for an update…still due in at 12:41 a.m. It's 12:20 a.m., so I find a good vantage point and armed with my cell phone and iPod I wait. While lost in some music, I notice quite a commotion going on over at the baggage claim area. Hmmm… I think, this could be interesting. I glance over to find approximately 700-1000 people crammed into baggage claim. Uh oh, this is not good. It seems 3 or 4 plane loads of luggage has not arrived. I gather from nearby conversations that some people have been waiting over three hours for their flight’s luggage. The situation is deteriorating fast.

The thing that struck me was that differences in culture, class, race, social and economic status seemed to melt away when everyone was faced with the same problem. It didn’t matter if you were just in from Palm Beach wearing your Ralph Lauren cable knit and carrying your Prada backpack or from St. Louis using plastic shopping bags as carry-on (nothing against St. Louis). Everyone was the same. Aires of affluency and poverty disappeared, if only for that moment. Annoyed, angry, frustrated, tired, and fed-up, people were talking, laughing, and commiserating with each other. People who would never give each other a second look were bonding over the issues at hand. The first and foremost issue; execute any airline representative who dared to venture into the mêlée. The airline (who shall remain nameless) seemed to be content making inaudible announcements that just added to the frenzied atmosphere.

My friend’s flight finally landed at 1 a.m. and I meet her at the gate… so much for the updates on the monitors. I tell her of the situation in baggage claim. We put on our armor and venture into the battlefield. To my ~~surprise~~ ~~delight~~ relief, her flight’s bags are presently being circulated. It takes me about 4 minutes to find her bag, I grab it and we make a move toward the exit, just then a group of guys turn around and say, “Congratulations!” I smiled and high tail it to the door. No need being here any longer than we have to – when things hit rock bottom I don’t want to have to be interrogated by the police or deposed by the lawyers.

Whoever said that New Yorker’s aren’t friendly has never met us when we’re pursuing a common cause. Psychologists might call it "mob mentality." I call it resolve for a common cause. The ugly situation made me see again that we’re not all that different from one another. If we could only get together on matters that are more serious than lost luggage, humanity would certainly be a force to be reckoned with.